


There for Him... Her.

by Willowy



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Danger, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Intense love and sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 11:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowy/pseuds/Willowy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place soon after the events in Revelations and Spencer's in deep trouble. JJ shows him how very necessary he is to her. Meanwhile the BAU tracks a killer that's literally decapitating his victims, creating terror in what Morgan calls "The grown-folks playground" - Las Vegas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There for Him... Her.

 

* * *

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

* * *

**There For Him... Her.**

_Right after Revelations. Reid's addicted and nobody knows. At least that's what he thinks._

Spencer slumped into his living room and fell onto the couch, head in hands. What was he going to do? Intellectually, he knew. He knew he was a junkie. He didn't care. All he could think about was the dilaudid. The sweet release that rode through his body like a warm wave every time he shot up. He didn't want to eat, his work had become meaningless and a source of anxiety, and it was fine with him if he never left his apartment, never even cared to see his friends again. They'd just get in the way.

He missed JJ, though. Jennifer. Missed her impossibly blue eyes looking up at him glossy with laughter. Her silken cascade of golden hair that always smelled so wonderfully of jasmine, her perfect... Reid lolled his head on the back of the couch and ran his fingers through his hair, squinting his eyes to stop the memories. Thank god Hankel hadn't taken her. The one saving grace in all of this was that Jennifer wasn't harmed. Wasn't taken and tortured and injected with drugs. Jennifer didn't die, like he had… she was safe to go on living her life. And she was better off without him mooning over her every day.

He hadn't really taken a leave from work, just told Hotch he needed some time. Spencer hadn't contacted them in almost two weeks. He'd just been closed off in his apartment, doing his drugs and disappearing into a black, silent oblivion. His phone hadn't been on in nearly a week, and that was fine with him, he thought. The fewer intrusions, the better. He started to get up and head into the bathroom, his mind a hazy fog of blond hair and burning fish guts, when he fell. Face first onto the floor. He was out before he hit the ground. Too long with no food or drink and too much dilaudid was a deadly combination.

* * *

JJ knew something was wrong. She'd been going over the night they found Spence in her head daily, hourly, trying to work it out. Trying to work out her own feelings of pain, guilt, remorse, and blinding fear. What if he never forgave her? What if  _he never forgave her?_ She couldn't stand the thought. It was a persistent knot in her stomach and a weighty pressure in her chest. She knew no matter how things turned out with Spence, she'd never forgive  _herself_.

But right now was something else. Something she felt in her nerve endings, something she just  _knew_. Something was very wrong with Spencer. Torn between her desire to give him the space he'd asked for, and her sudden, overwhelmingly intense concern for his well-being, JJ reached for her desk phone and buzzed Morgan in the bullpen. Morgan. He loved Spence almost as much as she did. He'd be discreet.

The big man was in front of her desk in a heartbeat. "Yes, what is it JJ?" His handsome face arched in question.

"Morgan, will you close the door, please?"

Morgan looked at her for a moment, then slowly moved to shut the door. "There a problem?"

"Derek, will you go with me to Spence's? I can't explain it but I just know there's something wrong. He hasn't checked in at all, and he hasn't answered his phone in a good week. I have this gut feeling…"

"JJ I've been wanting to go by and check on him too, but you know how he gets when we treat him like a baby."

JJ's hand went up – "Just... trust me on this okay? Get your gun and meet me outside. Don't say anything to the others." She moved from out behind her desk, her body deciding ahead of her brain to get moving.

By the time they got to Spencer's, Derek was full on-board with JJ's concern. He pulled the black SUV into the parking lot and both of them leapt out, running to the door. JJ stood by while Derek pounded on the door. "Hey kid! Open up. Enough of this now, let us in!"

Silence.

They'd seen his car in the lot, they knew he was there. JJ spoke up, "Spence? Please let us in, we just want to talk. It's just Morgan and me! Spence – ".

JJ looked at Morgan, fear in her eyes, and nodded. Morgan moved back, then shouldered the door open with a bang and a splintering of the doorjamb. JJ's worst fear was right there before her eyes, Spencer laying face down on the floor surrounded by blood and vomit, his skin gray, his arms and legs twitching.

" _Morgan_!" She screamed, as one hand went to her phone and dialed 911. She quickly gave the address and shouted "Officer down, Federal Agent injured!" before running to him and dropping to her knees and grabbing Spencer's hand, feeling for his pulse, then rubbing furiously as Derek performed CPR...

* * *

Reid didn't know where he was. He felt like he was floating. Everything smelled wrong, sounded wrong. He didn't want to open his eyes. Then he heard a voice. Her voice.

"Spence? Spence?"

He stirred, still not quite awake, still not understanding. He felt a softness near his ear, a whisper.

"Baby, please, wake up. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here for you,  _please_ …". JJ's soft sob cut through his fog like a blade.

Spencer opened his eyes and took in the sight of her. Her disheveled hair, her shirt with blood and god-knows what else on it, her tear-streaked cheeks and red-rimmed eyes and thought he'd never seen anyone so gorgeous. But what…? He slowly tried to raise his hand to touch her face, to wipe her tears. She beamed at him, and he caught his breath. When she moved away to call the doctors he managed a scratchy "No… don't…" before she was back by his side, stroking his face and grasping his hand.

She sat staring at him for long moments after the doctor had checked him out, pronounced him weak but stable, and given him IV fluids and a mild sedative. He would be fine. Or as fine as she could make him. She looked at him, sleeping peacefully. She would never let anything happen to this man again. She had almost lost him once, to his torturer, and again tonight, to his drug. Never again. He was hers. He would soon find out just exactly what that meant.

At 3 a.m. JJ grabbed her phone and dialed Morgan. "Hey, he woke up and he's okay. Derek, let's not say anything to the team until Spence gives us the all-clear."

"Sure, JJ. That's a huge relief, I'm glad he's better. Now maybe I can sleep for real. Thanks for letting me know."

* * *

Two days later and JJ was sitting at her desk trying to concentrate on the job at hand. Spence was still in the hospital with severe dehydration and anemia, the doctors monitoring his withdrawal. She was itching to be there, to comfort and support him. Knowing he was still suffering was  _killing_  her.

Hotch chose that moment to come into her office.

"JJ, don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Sir?" JJ looked up, not getting it.

"Agent Jareau, someone needs you more than we do right now. I'll take over the case selection for a week or so. You're dismissed."

SSA Aaron Hotchner turned to leave and said, "Take good care of him."

* * *

JJ left the building and ran to her car, anxious to get to the hospital. She arrived at Reid's room to see him sitting on the edge of the bed looking out the window, his back to her. He didn't hear her approach, and gave a little start when she gently touched his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry, Spence. How  _are_  you?" she whispered.

In reply Spencer took her hand from his shoulder and pulled her around in front of him.

"Jennifer, you look incredible," he said as he looked into her big blue eyes. "I can't imagine a more welcome sight, god JJ..." He stood up slowly and she folded into his arms. They stood that way for long minutes, him soaking in the fragrance of her, her clinging to his warmth, never wanting to let go. She felt him start to shake, and whether it was from the remaining withdrawal, or from her proximity, she didn't know.

"Sit down, Spence. I've something to say."

"JJ wait, I know..." - he began.

She pushed him gently down on the bed, and moved between his legs, "Shhh", she said as she reached around to tangle her fingers in his hair and pulled him toward her in the tenderest of kisses.

As surprised as Reid was, he wasn't about to argue. Feeling her soft lips under his was a new kind of drug. It sent an electric jolt through him and he closed his eyes and gave over to her, kissing her back with more intensity. His heart begin to slam against his chest when she pulled back. He looked at her perfect, sweet mouth before catching her eyes with his, questioning.

"Spence listen to me." JJ cupped his beautiful face in her hands. "As much as these past weeks must have been hell for you, and I want you to tell me about it when you're ready, I need you to know they've been brutal for me, too. Being away from you, knowing what you must be going through, not being able to see you, or hear your voice, or be there for you in any way... its made me realize some things."

Reid shook his head and said "JJ...".

"No, just listen because I need to get this out, I need you to hear me. Spencer I can't... I don't ever want to feel that again. I don't know what you feel for me but I do know that I cannot  _stand_  to be away from you any more. I almost lost you when he took you, and this... horrible thing he did to you almost made me lose you again." JJ felt the tears welling up behind her eyes and she didn't care. "Just let me," she choked, " _just let me_..."

Spencer wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against him. He pulled her down on the bed and lifted her chin up to meet his eyes. Spencer's incredible mind was spinning. She wanted  _him_! His amazing goddess Jennifer Jareau was holding him, quietly crying, saying she needed him. He had to tell her...

"JJ, I don't know why you came here to tell me all this, but you've made me happier in the past few minutes than I've ever been in my  _life_. I've cared for you for such a long time, never thinking you'd - I'd  _never_  have shut you out if I'd known. Nev-"

JJ reached up and grabbed his face, her quiet tears turning into a smile that lit his world. She caught his mouth in a warm kiss that quickly deepened, leaving them both breathless. "Don't ever leave me, Spence. Don't." she murmured into his mouth. "You're  _everything_." His heart soared as he kissed her with all he had.

* * *

The next day was to be Spencer's release from the hospital. JJ had been at his apartment cleaning for most of the morning, and now it was time to get him home. She finished putting fresh sheets on his bed and smiled to herself with the knowledge that they'd be back here, together, very soon. She'd laid in a few basic groceries and some special junk foods she knew he liked. Picking up his go bag and feeling a bit giddy, she grabbed her keys and flew out the door.

Spencer was waiting for her, smiling that radiant grin and freshly showered. She waited while he got dressed in the bathroom and her heart skipped a beat when he walked out in his usual short-sleeved shirt, sweater vest, and khakis, his long hair curling on his shoulders.

"There he is..." JJ began. " _There's_  my Spence."

He looked shyly down and then she was there in his arms. He did feel like himself again, and truly happier than he thought he'd ever be. His angel was there, beaming at him, making him feel... whole. It was an effort for him to release her from his embrace, however briefly.

He clasped her hand and said, "Let's get out of here." Spencer hoped he'd never see a room like this again. He silently swore he'd do everything in his power to keep from backsliding, from giving in to the nagging need he still felt. He felt stronger though, he did. With her by his side he felt he could do anything.

They walked into his apartment and Spencer let out a low whistle. "Wow, somebody's been busy! JJ, thank you so much. I was really dreading coming back here."

She smiled, took his go bag and dropped it right by the door, then moved into his waiting arms. "Don't thank me, just kiss me," she half-whispered. She pushed him up against the door, and knowing he'd be shy, smiled into his throat and began planting little kisses there. Spencer moaned softly and turned his head to take her mouth with his, moving his lips and sliding his tongue ever so softly over hers. He caught her soft hair in his hands and began breathing harder as they kissed, her body now pressing against the length of him. He felt himself harden and slowly moved his hips against her center. He could feel her heat beneath her thin skirt and wanted nothing more than to feel her surrounding him completely.

JJ moved her hand down and began stroking his erection through his pants. He jerked against her hand and moved to push it away. "Wait, wait..." he panted. He sought her eyes. He needed to be sure she wanted this as much as he always had. She looked directly into his hazel eyes and saw the question there. In response, she stepped back, crossed her arms and in one fluid movement, took off her top. Spencer drank her in with his eyes, never wanting anyone, anything as much as he wanted to touch her perfect breasts under the lacy lavender bra she wore. He copied her and did the same with his sweater vest, never taking his eyes off her. He felt his knees go weak at the sight of her and picked her up by her waist, her legs instinctively encircling him. "Bedroom." was all he said into the silky hair by her ear, as his hands slid down to support her bottom. She nodded while teasing his earlobe with her teeth. She murmured little sounds as he carried her, and ground her pelvis against his hardness.

Spencer laid JJ on the bed, immediately covering her with his body. His hard length was at its full size and he rubbed it against her heated core. He covered her mouth with his, bombarding her with deep, desperate kisses, as she returned them, matching his passion. His hand slid under her bra, his thumb running over her sensitive, erect nipple and she gasped. "Spence... baby...yes...". He pushed her bra up so he could lick and suck the other nipple and JJ dropped her head back, moaning. Spence moved his hand down to the inside of her thigh and gently stroked, then pushed her soaked panties aside to rub the nub of her clit, using her wetness to glide over it with his thumb. "Oh Jennifer, god, JJ you feel so good..." he moaned onto her breast.

JJ grabbed at his hair, pushing his mouth ever harder onto her breast as she writhed under his fingers against her wetness. She moaned, and reached down to unzip him, wanting, needing to feel his hard cock in her hands. With a groan, she pushed him off her and flipped him on his back. He lifted his hips as she pulled his pants and boxers off together, and sighed as she saw his large, rock hard penis jump at her gaze. "JJ... please, god, come _here_ ," he pleaded. Instead, she moved between his legs, her hand grasping his straining cock and it was his turn to cry out. She moved her hand up and down the length of him, rubbing her thumb across the slick, thick, engorged tip, wet with pre-cum, and lowered her head, taking him in her mouth ever so gently, swirling her tongue around his tip. "God Spence, you taste soo gooood..."

Spencer lost his mind. He groaned in the back of his throat as she took more of him into her mouth. He was too big to take in completely, but she alternated between stroking and sucking him, movements slow and deliberate, then faster and harder. "Jennifer...I can't... I can't..." She knew he was close and as she stroked and licked and sucked ever faster, she felt him spasm against her tongue, and Spencer repeated her name and bucked his hips against her mouth, one hand gripping her hair and the other fisted in the comforter beneath him. Three more thrusts into her hot, wet mouth and he turned his head to the side as he cried out and exploded into her sweet mouth, coming harder than he'd ever in his life.

 _My god, my god, my god_  was all he could think. He pulled her up so she lay on top of him and he kissed her deeply. He could taste himself on her but he didn't care. When he'd recovered enough, he rolled them both on their sides and stared into her eyes, stroking her face and feeling his own eyes dampen as his breathing and heart rate slowly returned to normal. She smiled at him.

"Well, Dr. Reid, did you enjoy that?" she teased, knowing full well she'd blown his mind.

"I can't tell you," he breathed, "I can't even begin..." She saw his eyes mist over and he closed them. She moved up to kiss both of his closed eyelids tenderly and they shot open - "Oh! But you! You didn't..." he faltered.

"That was for you, baby, only for you.  _This_  time. We have all night, don't we?" She flushed and looked down, adjusting her pretty bra back down over her perfect breasts. Spencer followed her gaze and grinned when he noticed she still had her skirt on, and he his shirt. They'd been so desperate for each other they hadn't had time to take off the rest of their clothes.

"Jennifer, we have our whole lives." They crawled into the usual position on the bed, heads on pillows, and he wrapped his long arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head, breathing her in and reveling in the feel of her. His. She wrapped her arm around his torso, and caught his ankle with her own, enjoying the warmth of him, the smell of him, and being in his arms. They dozed like that for a while, hearts humming with bliss.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Chapter 2**

* * *

**Together**

The next morning found them still with half their clothes on, and all twisted up in the covers. JJ woke first, and kissed him softly, then gently so as not to wake him, disentangled herself from his warmth. When she came out of the bathroom, now naked under Spence's robe she'd found hooked on the bathroom door, she could smell that he was up to something in the kitchen, and her stomach rumbled.

She stopped for a moment, and from her vantage point in the short hallway watched him move. He had put on sweats and a fresh tshirt, and though his hair was still sleep-tangled,he looked positively adorable. She felt her chest tighten as she gazed at him, her face soft with love.

As soon as he realized she was there he broke out in a huge smile, covering the few steps over to her in a split-second. He picked her up and just held her there, her feet dangling and his forehead pressed against hers. "You look amazing in that robe," he grinned.

She returned his smile and said "I'd hoped it was okay for me to borrow it." Her arms curved around his long neck.

"It's not only okay, but I don't think I ever want to see you in anything else." He touched his lips to hers. "My eggs are burning..." He put her down and turned back to the stove.

"I could take that two ways, you know," she joked.

He smirked. "You could indeed." He glanced over his shoulder at her. "Sit over there, Jennifer, there's juice!"

As they sat across from each other at his small kitchen table, eating , JJ found herself feeling a bit shy. To cover, she started chatting - "You know, the team - " she began.

"I don't want to talk about them right now," he said softly, fork prodding the slightly overdone eggs. "I want to ask you something. I need to know how you are, how you're doing."

"How  _ **I**_  am? Spencer - " she said, about to toss it right back to him. After all,  _he_  was the one who needed the lion's share of concern right now.

But he stopped her, serious. "Jennifer listen to me. I know what you must've seen when you and Morgan found me. I know what you must've felt seeing me lying there in all that... mess, in that condition. I know how I would've felt if I'd seen  _you_  like that, I would've lost it." He shook his head. "And to top it off after I'd been ignoring you for weeks, hiding, hating myself and doing nothing but sitting here getting high day after day just to forget... JJ please know how  _completely_  sorry I am for putting you through all of that..." he reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "I didn't know, I didn't, and I'm so, so sorry..." He looked down, ashamed.

JJ's eyes were huge as she listened to the man she loved take all the blame on himself and she couldn't stand it. As soon as she saw his face fall she was across the table, in his lap and holding him for dear life. His arms went around her, his head on her chest and she started making soft noises deep in her throat. She could feel his tears as his face came up to rest against her throat.

"Shhh, Spence, baby it's done, it's done and we're here and we're okay. Shh, baby, we're here and god, I just...  _I love you so much_..."

Spencer quickly looked up at her worried face. His vision blurred as the enormity of what she'd said hit him. "Oh Jennifer, I love you too,  _so much_. Please don't ever, don't ever doubt it for a second," he stammered. He reached up to stroke her silky hair and pulled her head down in the longest, softest kiss she'd ever had. JJ clutched at him needing to be closer, kissing him deeper.

Suddenly urgent, Spencer picked her up and laid her down right there on the floor, covering her face and throat with heated, dry kisses. He pushed open the robe as JJ worked the belt, opening it at last. She pushed down his soft sweatpants and felt how immediately hard he was, rubbing him before she tugged on his shirt, pulling it over his head. Desperate for him to be naked she hooked her foot on his pants and pushed down as he pulled his legs out one by one and then he was on her.

His mouth came crashing down on her breasts as she arched up to meet his embrace. Her arms flew around him, her nails digging into his back as she pulled him ever closer, feeling his hardness against her opening, she moaned his name. He pulled back from her and feverishly kissed down her stomach, his hands brushing her hipbones as his mouth slid lower, JJ's hips bucked, her back arching as her hands got lost in his soft, long, curly hair. When she felt his lips and hot breath on her wetness, she gasped and pushed herself against his mouth, her mind void of everything but him, oh god,  _him_.

Spencer licked her clit and slid two of his long, elegant fingers into her wet folds, curling them upwards and moving them in and out in a slow rhythm, licking her and rubbing his lips on her nub at the same time. He moaned into her as he felt her juices flow, loving the taste of her. JJ couldn't take it, she needed him in her  _now_. She grabbed his ears and pulled him up in a fiery kiss, her searing center enveloping him in one swift move. Spencer cried out, burying himself in her, in  _her_ , his beautiful, wonderful, incredible JJ.

She wrapped her legs high around him, and her hands gripped his firm ass, shoving him deeper into her, unable to keep from crying out, she gasped and panted as he thrust into her over and over, he couldn't stop, he couldn't even slow down. This was everything,  _she_  was everything and he couldn't believe this was happening, that he was so far in her and god she felt amazing, tight and hot and wet and  _"Oh, J-Jennifer my god Jennifer I can't hold, I love..."_ he gasped, then a deep groan tore out of the very pit of him as he exploded into her, her own orgasm rippling through her in intense wave after wave as she screamed and bit his shoulder, her eyes closed and her body shuddering with the power of it.

Still inside her, Spencer immediately rolled over, taking her with him and feeling her hair fall across his face and neck. When they could open their eyes, both still panting, they just stared at one another for a long while, not smiling, not saying anything, just... recovering. He reached up and ran his thumb across her soft, swollen lips, and she kissed it lightly, never taking her eyes off his.

* * *

Then they were in the shower together, still silent and exploring each other, neither one wanting to break the heavy spell of sheer bliss that seemed to envelop them both. Washing each other gently and slowly felt so right, so warm and loving and intimate. Spencer spoke first, lightly dusting JJ's damp shoulder with tiny kisses.

"What would you think about moving some of your things over here?" he asked, tentatively.

She turned her head towards the shoulder he'd just kissed and lowered her eyes. Smiling to herself she said, "Dr. Reid, are you asking me to live with you?"

He smiled, "JJ if I thought you would, I'd go pack all your things myself." He tilted her chin up. "Look, I don't want to rush you, that's all. I figured if I said it like that, you wouldn't feel pressured, and I'd save a little face if you turned me down cold."

She stood on tiptoe and brushed his lips with hers. "There's no way I'm leaving you, Spence. I'm not going anywhere, any more, where you  _aren't_. We've wasted enough time as it is, though I do think we should consider a bigger place."

Spencer reached around her and turned the water off, beyond thrilled to hear her words. "Makes sense," he pondered, smiling. She reached out of the shower for the two fluffy towels she'd set out earlier, wrapped one around Spencer's lightly muscled waist, the other around herself and tucked the end in, in front of her breasts.

"We may have chased out some of the demons, but this place still has some bad memories for you, doesn't it?" He nodded and she went on, "Spence I don't want us to begin our lives together in a place with unhappy ghosts."

"Well why don't you start looking for a place you'd like?", he said. "I'll be happy just as long as you're there, so it doesn't really matter to me where we go. We should get a house, though... yeah! Statistically speaking, homeowners are far more satisfied with their living space than renters. I read that - " JJ put a finger to his lips, her eyes dancing.

"Spence that's a wonderful idea. I'll start looking today. But first I do have to go to my place and get some clothes and such. I'll be back soon, I promise." She beamed up at him as she went to the room to get dressed.

Spencer called after her, "JJ, why aren't you going in?" he asked.

She poked her head out of his room and said "Hotch told me to take a week off." She walked down the hall, minus her shoes and padded over, looking up at him. "He told me to 'take good care of you'." She reached for her purse and keys, slipping on her ballet flats. "It's not just me that loves you, Spencer Reid." She tiptoed and kissed him, a proper "see ya later" kiss, and moved away as he reached for her. He pouted and she smiled, a bounce in her step as she went out the door.

Spencer's eyebrows went up, then he shrugged and went to get his phone. First time in a week or more he'd even thought about it. His first call since coming back to himself was to his friend, his brother, Derek Morgan.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Chapter 3**

* * *

**Forward... and Back.**

"My MAN!" Derek fairly shouted into the phone. "You all good? Back home? You need anything?"

Spencer smiled. "I am, I'm... pretty great, actually. Morgan, there's something you... everybody I guess... needs to know."

"So?" Spill it, pretty boy." Morgan walked into the BAU bullpen, glad to be hearing his 'kid brother's' voice again.

"Are you sitting down?" Reid asked, a smile in his voice.

Morgan stopped, then quickly moved to his desk and sat. "Yep."

"It's JJ. Jennifer. We're, um... we're - "

"Waitwaitwait back it up Reid! Are you telling me..." Morgan let the question hang there for a second and Spencer caught it.

"We are. She is... I mean... she hasn't left. We're... together." Spencer exhaled and his stomach fluttered as he thought of her.

Morgan's grin came through to him on the other end of the line and Spencer was relieved. "About time, kid. I can't say I'm too surprised." He paused, and then said "You sound happy."

Spencer looked up, his eyes becoming moist. "You have no idea."

"Well, ok, cool. You want me to tell the team, or...?" Morgan asked.

"I um, I think we're going to tell them together? But I wanted you to be the first to know." Spencer replied.

"Ok, mum's the word. Any idea when you'll be back in?" Morgan asked.

"Not just yet, I've got some things to take care of. To look into."

"Sure. Everything alright?" Morgan wondered.

"It will be. Morgan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

* * *

JJ caught sight of herself in the rear view mirror and was surprised to see a big smile. She smirked. "I've got perma-grin," she thought, and shrugged. She couldn't remember the last time she was this happy. She felt light and alive and buoyant. Spencer. She couldn't wait to get back there.

JJ saw that it wasn't all going to be smooth sailing. She knew he had a problem with dilaudid and that it wasn't going to be easy to shake. As she pulled into her driveway, she silently vowed to do whatever she could to ease his path. Whatever he needed. She had him, finally, and he her. She'd be damned if she'd let anything get between them.

Spencer had dressed and was making his, no –  _their_  bed when he felt the first twinge. He tried to shake it off, but there it was again and all of a sudden he staggered with the force of it. He thought he was over the worst of the craving but all of a sudden there was such a  _need_. Spencer sat down on the edge of the bed, taking deep breaths and closed his eyes. He gripped the comforter in both hands, willing the feeling to pass. It didn't. Spencer laid on his side on the bed, drawing his legs up, breathing fast and keeping his eyes closed. His head began pounding while his arms and legs started aching, and he was so incredibly cold.

He couldn't sit still, he got up and began pacing, going out to the living room and he heard the doorknob turn and he looked at the door. There was his beautiful golden angel and he took a few shaky breaths and went to her.

JJ was loaded down with two large bags and she didn't notice at first. "Spence, hey, I brought a few other -" she stopped short when she saw his drawn, sweaty face and panicked expression. He looked at her helplessly. She wasn't going to show him how scared that expression made her. She wouldn't. She let her bags fall where they were.

"Come here, baby, come with me," she calmly said. "Here, lean on me Spence, I've got you." He leaned on her and she guided him toward the bedroom. Spencer concentrated on keeping very quiet. His head was splitting, he felt like there were knives in his stomach and he just wanted to scream. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and let her move him back to the room. He laid down with a groan on the bed and JJ took off his shoes and sat beside him. "What do you need?" she quietly asked him. He was sweating and his mouth was dry, so he whispered "Water." and "Jennifer, I'm sorry."

"Hush, Spence. This will pass. It's not forever." She ran her hand along his hot forehead and leaned close. "I'll be right back, it'll be alright," she soothed.

JJ went and got a wet washcloth, and a large glass of water. When she came back he was on his side, and she could see his rapid breathing through his thin shirt. Her heart crumpled to see him this way, though she knew it wouldn't be the last time. She set down the tray and grabbed another blanket from the closet. "Are you cold?" She asked. He nodded quickly. She spread the blanket over him, watching him tremble. She gave him the glass, he took a quick drink and went back to lying on his side, eyes closed against the painful light in the room. JJ noticed and went to close the blinds, then immediately crawled up behind him, her arm encircling his damp torso as she molded her body up against his back and legs. They lay like that in silence for a long time, until she could feel his shaking start to subside, his body temperature return somewhat to normal, and his even breathing let her know he was close to sleep. Her shirt was soaked through from his sweat, though she couldn't have cared less. They stayed that way for hours.

Spencer awoke and felt her against him in the darkness. He stirred, needing the bathroom, and she was instantly awake. They looked at each other for a moment, JJ's soft gaze telling him that it was alright, that she loved him.

Spencer ran his hands through his hair, irritated with himself, and uncomfortable. He got up and went into the bathroom, his hand on her shoulder as he passed. JJ went to get her bags and brought them back into the bedroom, opening one and pulling out a clean shirt. She changed quickly as Spencer came back in. Feeling awkward, Spencer moved to change his own clothes, and JJ said "What can I help with?"

"Nothing", he said, a little too quickly. Then added "Thank you, though." JJ looked down and decided to give him a little privacy. "I'm going to make some soup, how does that sound?"

Spencer heard himself say "Nice." He went to the closet and changed quickly, then headed out to the kitchen. He still felt the nausea but at least his headache was gone and he had stopped sweating for now. He went up behind JJ at the stove and rested his hands on her hips. "I knew what to expect, it just took me by surprise." He said quietly.

JJ leaned back against him and set the spoon down. She turned around in his arms and, looking up into his face, placed her palms on his chest. "I understand. I need you to know that we're sharing this, now, and I will be right here. It won't be for much longer, Spence. You're already doing so much better. I'm so proud of you." she said, and he knew she meant it.

"JJ that means so much to me, it does. But you have to know that this might not be even close to being over. Withdrawal can take weeks, sometimes months to run its course. As much as it comforts me to have you with me," he added, "I can't help but feel selfish. Why should I make you see this? It's not... it isn't fair to you."

Her blue eyes turned steely as she spoke "Spencer. After all we've seen, been through together, you think this" she gestured, "is something I can't handle? I finally realized that having you isn't something that I can just take or leave. That I  _need_  to be with you, and you think it'd be better if I turned tail for a few weeks until you stop shaking, that there's someplace else that I could  _possibly_  be? The truth is, Spence, we're both being a little selfish. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Her face was so sweetly determined, and with that he leaned down and folded his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. "You didn't sign on to be with an addict. JJ, I know..."

"I signed on to be with you. And everything that means." Her lips found his in a soft kiss, and Spencer could feel the warmth of her spreading through his aching limbs.

The soup decided to boil over at that moment and JJ gave a little laugh and turned back to it. "Now go sit! I'll fix you a bowl."

The last thing Spencer wanted to do was eat, but he knew he needed to keep up his strength, and it did smell good.

After they ate, Spencer made tea and they spent the rest of the night sitting on the couch, watching old movies, entwined in each other. His aching body forgotten for the moment, they teased and chatted like the friends they were, and kissed like the lovers they  _now_  were. He felt nothing so much except how lucky he was. To be with her, to have her with him at last. He knew he had to take care of himself, and a call to Beltway Clean Cops was first on his list for tomorrow, but it was going to be a lot easier with her by his side. He could do this. For their future.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Chapter 4**

* * *

**Forever**

Jennifer woke up early. She reached over, amazed how normal it already felt to be there with him. Like they'd been doing it forever. She touched his back and noticed how warm he was. Spencer stirred and rolled over, JJ smiling as she saw his mouth turn up at the corners, his eyes still closed.

"Faker," she teased.

"Hang on," he whispered, "I'm trying to savor the moment."

He opened his hazel eyes and found hers. "Good morning," he sighed. He reached out to touch her face and she rubbed her cheek against his long fingers.

"Mmm-hmm. It is," she murmured. "You're really warm, how do you feel?" she asked.

He looked at her intently. "You know, I think it's okay. For now, I mean... I'm a little achy, and kind of cold, but sleep really seems to help. More every day." Spencer moved to hold her and she snuggled against him, feeling the evidence of his morning arousal against her thigh. Spencer had the grace to be a little embarrassed. "Sorry..." he squeaked out.

JJ smiled against his long neck and said "Cold, huh? Doesn't feel that way to me..." Her hand moved down to rub him through the covers and he jerked against it, surprised.

"Ahh... Jennifer..."

"Spence..."

She lifted her face to kiss him just at the moment her phone went off. They smiled at each other and JJ reached for it on the nightstand. Spencer went to brush his teeth and heard her say "Hey Garcia..." before closing the bathroom door. He briefly wondered if Morgan had told Penelope. He trusted Derek, but Garcia was his best friend and there were no secrets between those two. It didn't really matter anyway. This was not a secret Spencer intended to keep.

"So how are you, woman?" Garcia chirped. Thought we could might do a girl thingy at lunch today? Hotch said you're off for the week... ."

"Oh, Pen, I'm gonna need a rain check. I've got a dozen things needing my attention today." JJ said, leaving out what 'things' she meant.

Spencer walked in and motioned for JJ to cover the phone. He said "Tell her we'll both be in later today."

JJ looked at him a little sideways, but said "Hey Garcia can you tell the team that both Spence and I'll be in later today?"

"Sure, JJ," Penelope said slowly... you and boy wonder? What changed your mind? Oh, and tell him we miss him desperately..."

"You can tell him yourself - " Spencer quickly shook his head - "when you see him," JJ finished. "Talk to you later."

JJ hung up and Spencer looked relieved.

"What?" she asked.

"Love her very much but it's a little too pre-coffee for Garcia-speak this morning. Besides, our news is pretty... important. I didn't want to tell her over the phone." Spencer said.

"You told Morgan over the phone." she pointed out.

"I did. I'm glad I did, too. He was really cool about it." Spencer said, thoughtfully.

"When is Morgan  _not_  cool?" JJ offered. "So we're telling them today, I gather."

"If you're fine with that, I think it'd be a good idea. If we wait until we're all moved in together, they'd get pretty pissed. Especially Emily." Spencer tilted his head a fraction and said "So you think Hotch knows?"

"Yes, though I didn't confirm or deny either way. He's very good at the job, y'know." JJ cocked an eyebrow. "Did you or did you not mention coffee?"

"I'm on it," Spencer turned and headed towards the kitchen.

"Hey Spence?"

He turned back, his eyebrows raised.

"I love you." JJ whispered, and was rewarded with the biggest smile she'd ever seen him flash.

"About time," he said, then ran out as she threw a pillow at him.

They walked into the BAU, and five minutes later there was much hugging and backslapping. Emily's eyes filled with tears as she hugged both of them together, and Penelope was over the moon, the true romantic in her loving every second of this. Derek had kept his word and had not told anyone, even her. Hotch came out of his office, a brief smile flashed across his face as he saw Reid, then motioned for them to come up. Reid stood in front of Hotch's desk, his hands in his pockets while JJ closed the door. Hotch moved to stand behind his desk.

"The Bureau can't sanction this officially, but since you've both disclosed your relationship and both of you are SSAs, there really isn't anything they are going to do about it." Hotch stated. "I don't have to tell either of you the level of professionalism I'll continue to expect?"

"No sir." Reid said. JJ said "Of course," at the same time.

"Then we're good. Reid, when are you returning?" Hotch scanned him, looking for anything that might indicate he wasn't ready.

"I'll be back next week. Monday. JJ and I'll be returning the same day." JJ nodded.

"Fine. It'll be good to have you back, and JJ?"

She looked at Hotch.

"Good job."

Reid and JJ smiled quickly at each other and skedaddled out of his office. Hotch waited until they had closed the door behind them, then gave a small, relieved smile to the papers on his desk.

They left the building and once outside, clasped hands as they walked to JJ's car. Spencer didn't quite feel like driving just yet. As a matter of fact, he wasn't feeling very good at the moment, at all.

"Jennifer, can we get to the car a little quicker?" He asked.

She looked up at him, alarmed. "What is it?"

"I'm good, I'm just... needing to sit."

"Okay, sure, we're almost there." They got to her car and she opened the passenger side, Spencer crawled in and gasped as he doubled over. His stomach seized with cramp as his arms and legs followed suit. Spencer tried to lean to the side and bring up his legs but it was too small a space in the car. JJ opened the back door and reached in for Spencer to put his arm around her. She guided him out and into the back seat, where she always kept a blanket. His long form stretched out on the seat, and as she shook out the blanket to cover him, she noticed him starting to shake.

"Damn," she swore, hating that he was having to endure this, and wishing they were home. "Spence, we're going to my place, alright? It's closer and we'll be there in a few minutes." JJ was so grateful that this didn't come upon him 10 minutes ago, that he'd been spared the rest of the team seeing him this way.

He nodded quickly, his eyes tightly shut as he tried not to make a sound. His slender body was wracked with cramps, his muscles twisting painfully, and he was ice cold.

She drove quickly but carefully, and kept looking over her shoulder at his pale, sweaty face. She couldn't understand why he didn't want any of the medicine the doctors had offered to make this transition easier for him. She reminded herself to talk with him about it later. She could see the effort he was making to keep silent, chewing on his bottom lip, probably for her benefit, and her heart ached for him.

They got to her house, JJ supporting Spencer as they made their way in. Spencer immediately headed for the bathroom and she ran to turn down her bed. She turned her air off and got down some extra blankets. He was having a rough time of it in there, she could hear him and she wanted to go in but he heard her approach and in a shaky voice asked her to stay out. She busied herself by getting him a cold glass of water and a washcloth, in case he needed it, then sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him. She felt tears press against the backs of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. He needed her strength right now.

Spencer came out and tried to smile at her. He leaned against the doorjamb and she went to help him move to the bed. His shirt was sweaty so she started unbuttoning it, then went and got her own thick terrycloth robe from the closet for him. He took off his pants and leaned back on her bed, and he noticed it smelled of jasmine, like her hair. He wrapped her robe around himself then turned on his side and drew his legs up. JJ pulled the blanket up around his chin, thinking how adorable he looked to her, even in this state, swallowed up by her big robe and his mismatched socks peeking out the bottom. She saw him shudder, so she got another blanket and put it over him. She knelt beside the bed and smoothed his creased, clammy forehead and murmured soft words of love to him. She lightly kissed his closed eyelids, and leaned back, her hand moving through his hair, gently massaging his head.

He fell into a fitful sleep, and JJ watched him, cursing the son of a bitch who'd done this to him, and feeling guilty once again that it wasn't her that the UnSub had taken. She'd left him, they'd split up even though they knew they shouldn't, and she'd had to shoot her way out of the barn where the three vicious dogs had nearly eaten her alive. But Spencer had died. Hankel had brought him back with CPR, but he  _had_  died. And it was her fault.

She shook her head. None of this would do him any good right now. She needed to stay focused and positive. She would see him through this, help him any way she could. Spencer moaned in his sleep, and she couldn't stand it, she needed to be next to him. She stripped and pulled an old football jersey out of her pajama drawer. She slipped it over her head and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail before crawling in behind him like she had done before. When she pressed herself up against him, wrapping her arms around and pulling him to her, she could feel his tensed muscles under his hot skin, though after a few minutes she felt him relax. His brow relaxed too, and his breathing became more even. She slept then also, comforted by his closeness, and reassuring herself that she'd be by his side... forever.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Chapter 5**

* * *

**Home**

It had been a month since Spencer and JJ had closed on the house, and they were busy with everything that entailed making it their home. They'd sold or donated most of their old furniture and now the process of making decisions together was under way.

"No, Spence, look at the big, ugly...  _wingy_  things on the back! And red velvet? Who are you, Vincent Price?" JJ stood in front of Spencer, her hands on her hips.

"Vincent Pri-... Jennifer I'll have you know that Vincent Price was one of the most well- respected actors EVER in the horror genre! The man practically invented Halloween!  _Halloween_ , JJ! And it's a WINGback chair, it's supposed to have those!" Spencer insisted.

"I know that! Doesn't mean I want our home modeled after The House of Wax!" JJ spread her arms.

"JJ, just LOOK at the stitching, the craftsmanship... this thing must be at least a hundred years old – it's beautiful!" Spencer ran his hands over the smooth, old wood frame.

"It must be at least a hundred  _pounds_ ," JJ smirked. "Spence baby we already agreed that we were going to get clean lines and lots of comfort. Neutral, rich, earthy tones. Remember?"

Spencer furrowed his brow and the corners of his mouth turned down. He looked at her and said "I don't know why we can't have just one accent piece..." He looked back wistfully at the chair as he turned to follow JJ outside.

"Probably has bedbugs." She murmured under her breath, rolling her eyes.

"I heard that." Spencer said, his voice glum.

He caught her hand as they walked down the sunny street, a rare day off for the both of them, it was beyond welcome. Spencer didn't want to continue such a silly argument, so he shrugged and said "Wanna get sno-cones?", as he spied a vendor in the park across the street.

She looked down, squeezed his hand and smiled. Ah, but he could make her heart  _ache_  with how sweet he was sometimes. "Sure," she said, looking up at him, their disagreement already half-forgotten.

Spencer watched her hair blowing as she walked, the pale silky color of it gleaming in the sunlight and his breath caught in his throat. He felt his love for her swell up and infuse his chest with warmth. That's what she was to him, light and warmth. He squeezed her hand and lifted it to his lips, brushing her fingers in a light kiss. He'd be dead if it weren't for her, he was sure of it. Yet here they were, walking down a sunlit street hand in hand, doing what couples do. He still had a hard time believing they were together, sometimes. That she'd chosen him. Loved  _him_.

They bought their sno-cones, his lemon and hers blue raspberry, and moved to sit under one of the big maple trees in the park. Spencer leaned up against the trunk and put his free arm around JJ as she snuggled up against him. They sat there listening to the leaves rustle in the light breeze.

"I owe you my life, you know." Spencer said quietly.

JJ looked up at him, squinting in the sunlight. "Spence - "

"I do. If you hadn't brought Morgan to break my door down that day..." his hazel eyes grew large as he went on. "Then after, you came to the hospital and told me you needed to be with me... JJ I know it's not healthy for an addict to put so much stock in another person, especially during recovery. But I'd just loved you for  _so long_. It was literally a dream come true for me and I-" Spencer stopped when he saw her eyes filling up with tears. "Oh god, JJ, what-" his hand reached to touch her face.

She shook her head, "No, baby, I just can't believe you..." She looked up at him and said "Spencer, I was terrified that you wouldn't accept  _me_. That you'd never forgive me for us splitting up at the farm, that you wouldn't want anything to do with me. I knew that I needed to be with you, I KNEW it, but I kept letting the job get in the way. Then he killed you and I saw. I saw it and I knew again. After we found you that night I left you alone because that is what I thought you wanted...needed, and  _every single day_  was torture for me. I had no idea you were using, I just knew something wasn't right. Then after Morgan and I got you to the hospital... and I saw you in that bed..." her face crumpled.

JJ was crying now, the tears flowing down her pretty face. "I  _had_  to tell you. Spence, I couldn't leave your side, ever... not ever again!"

Spencer was using his napkin to dab at her tears as he listened and nodded and just let her tell it.

"All I kept thinking was 'w _hat if he doesn't wake up? What if he-_ "

Spencer stopped her by quickly dusting her lips with his and kissing away her tears. He was crying too, and their sno-cones forgotten, they held each others faces and kissed the pain away, under what would forever be their tree in the park.

* * *

The drive back to their house was a short, silent one. Spencer driving and JJ resting her head on his shoulder, her hand on his thigh. Every so often Spencer would turn his head to kiss the top of hers. He pulled the car into the garage, and they got out and went inside. Spencer went to make some of JJ's favorite Turkish spice mint tea, and she headed for the bathroom to wash her face.

She came out and Spencer was already sitting on their temporary sofa, a rental, with the mugs of steaming tea sitting on the ottoman. She took her cup and folded her leg under her, sitting on the couch. Her expression was so soft and loving, Spencer caught his breath.

"Emotional day, huh?" She said, a little smile playing on her lips. Her fingers moved up to play with the soft curls at his collar.

"I'm so glad we got that out – all of it," Spencer said. "Both of us were so wrong." He smiled a brief, quick smile.

"Yeah, we're a couple of big dorks." JJ said, looking at him through her lashes.

Spencer looked at her sidelong, "You're a  _bigger_  dork", he mumbled.

"Hey! Watch it, genius, I've been working on my hand-to-hand combat with Morgan!" she teased.

"Oh yeah? Is that SO?" Spencer took the mugs and set them on the floor. "Show me."

And she was on him, knocking the wind out of his slight frame.

"This is what you get!" She yelled.

"NO! No you'd  _better not_  JJ, STOP it!"

He just knew she'd start in tickling him any second and he scrambled to get out from under her. He  _hated_  to be tickled, and she knew it. Instead she pulled him up and straddled his waist, her hands on either side of his head on the back of the couch. She glared at him and he returned her look. JJ leaned in, ever so slowly, her lips less than an inch from his, both of them breathing hard from the sudden exertion. His hands went to her waist and she moved her hips against his lap. "What is it you want then, Dr. Reid..." she purred, nearly touching his mouth with hers, her breath minted from the tea.

Spencer moaned her name, and captured her lips in a fierce kiss, one hand moving up to tangle in her hair as he pushed his mouth onto hers. JJ gasped and returned the kiss with equal passion, their tongues battling and lips smashed heatedly together, taking possession of each other hungrily. Spencer couldn't get close enough and neither could she, his hand quickly sliding under her shirt to her waiting breast. He groaned again when he reached her nipple, thumbing it through her thin, delicate bra. Her hand moved down to unzip his pants and she found him already rock hard and straining against the fabric. She unzipped and reached in, struggling to get her hand around all of him, trapped in the tight material. Spencer moved his hips, trying to adjust and then he felt her grip him and start stroking. His head dropped back on the couch and he bit his lip to keep from crying out. He felt his eyes roll back and then all he could feel was her warm, skillful fingers handling him as they slid up and down his hot, hard member.

Swept away as he was, he still had the presence of mind to know this wouldn't work for long. He slowly moved her off of him and stood up, no easy task, and JJ looked at him, fire in her brilliant blue eyes. He took her hands and stood her up until she was pressed against him, then turned her around. Still holding her backed up against him so she could feel his hardness pressing against her ass, he leaned down and and murmured "march" into her ear, then moved with her still held against him to the bedroom.

They got to the room and JJ turned her head and lifted her hands to entwine in his soft hair, grinding her ass into his hard cock. Spencer moved his hands up and slid them under her shirt, pushing her bra up and out of his way, each hand surrounding a firm, perfect breast, massaging and squeezing, and lightly twisting her nipples. His hips kept moving against her ass in a slow rhythm. JJ dropped her head against his chest and moaned softly... "Spence, baby..."

God when she called him that... Spencer ground ever harder against her perfect ass as he dropped one hand to undo her jeans, slipping his fingers lower. She cried out as she felt his fingers against her slippery wetness and moved against his hand, her own hand reaching down behind her, massaging his cock in long, even strokes, making him hiss softly as his breath came in shorter gasps.

Spencer needed her out of her clothes, but he took his time, lifting her blouse over her head, then gently unhooking the delicate bra strap, kissing her soft, creamy shoulders as his elegant hands tugged her jeans and panties down together. JJ stepped out of them and turned around to face him, completely naked, the ends of her long blond hair curling around her breasts. She pushed his khakis down and he was out of them in a moment, and she lifted his shirt up and off his lean, lightly muscled chest. JJ kissed his nipples, each one, before slowly moving down to her knees, leaving a trail of wet kisses, stopping at his navel to insert her tongue for just a moment. Spencer felt his legs weaken, his hands in her hair as she moved further down, his cock sliding between her breasts. Her hands were on his hips and she moaned into his stomach, his cock touching her face, "Just let me taste you, baby..." and she took his swollen head into her mouth for a few deep, quick thrusts, swirling her tongue around his tip as she cupped and softly stroked his balls.

Spencer couldn't take it, he lifted her and laid her on the bed, her eyes begging him to enter her and he did, guiding himself into her and feeling her amazing wet tightness surround him as he pushed into her to the hilt, he began moaning her name over and over, penetrating as deep as he'd ever gone, his face buried in the soft, sweaty skin at her throat. JJ cried out with every thrust, loving the feel of him stretching her, pushing inside her, her walls clenching and gripping him, her hips lifting to meet his pounding, his urgent need. Their kiss was deep and frantic and she broke it to cry out again as her orgasm overtook her, her body arching up and off the bed, taking Spencer with her as he rocked into her again and again, his cock finally releasing, emptying, coming into her with everything he had.

It took them a few minutes to come back to themselves. Spencer still lying partly on top of her, her arm around his shoulder, her calf wrapped around his. Still inside her, he moved his lips to her soft neck again, resting them there, breathing in her scent.

"You're so incredible," he whispered, breathless. "I'm so, so lucky... god Jennifer..."

"Shhh, Spence baby... we both are. Its... its never been like this. Ever."

She stroked her nails lightly up his spine and he shivered. They untangled just enough to move under the covers and JJ lay her head on his chest, her hand making small circles on his abdomen. His arm went around her, pulling her closer.

"It's like I can't get close enough to you, and when I'm there, inside you, I can't imagine being anywhere else, ever. I don't want to be."

"You don't ever have to be," she replied. I'm never, not ever, going anywhere. I can't."

"Is it... always like this?" he asked, feeling a little shy.

"No." She said truthfully. "Some people are just  _meant_  for each other. We are," she said against his chest, lightly kissing his warm skin.

He lifted her chin and met her bright blue eyes with his own. "Marry me. JJ please... just marry me." He looked at her with such love and longing, and she could see the fear in his eyes, too. Fear that she'd say no.

In reply she moved up and took his mouth with her own, kissing him for a long, long time, stopping only to murmur against his mouth, "Try and stop me."

* * *

**Chapter 6: Chapter 6**

* * *

**Work... and Play**

Spencer and JJ walked into the conference room at the BAU where Hotch and Prentiss were already seated.

"Where's Morgan?" Spencer asked.

"He'll be in in a bit," said Emily. "He and Garcia had an errand to run, we can fill them in on the plane."

JJ nodded and made sure everyone had a case file, then started the briefing.

"This UnSub is killing people in Las Vegas on one side of town, then decapitating them and disposing of their heads in the exact opposite side of town." she reported.

"Marking territory?" asked Reid.

"More like inciting fear... he's saying nowhere in town is safe." Hotch stated. "Local law enforcement has asked us in because there's been an escalation. Two more bodies, and their severed heads found in as many days."

"Forensic counter-measure?" Emily offered.

"We don't think so," JJ said. "The UnSub hasn't made any attempt to disfigure the heads, except for what would typically occur when removed from the body.

"What's the victimology?" asked Reid.

"All over the map," Hotch said. There isn't an obvious common thread yet, we'll learn more when we get there. Wheels up in 30." Hotch stood up and pushed his chair back, the team following him out.

Spencer caught up with JJ - "Nothing like hitting the ground running, huh?" He said.

JJ smirked in reply as they all walked to the elevator - "Welcome back, Dr. Reid."

* * *

On the plane Morgan moved to sit in front of Spencer and JJ, who were next to each other, quietly talking.

"You gonna see your mom, this trip?" He said to Reid.

"Mmm-hmm," Spencer replied. "We have a lot to tell her."

JJ looked up at him and smiled, then looked down at her lap.

Morgan said, "I'll bet!" with a teasing grin.

"And you don't know the half of it," Spencer retorted.

Morgan's smile dropped. "What's that supposed to mean?"

JJ and Spencer just looked at each other, their eyes locked. A small smile played at the corner of Spencer's mouth and he said "All will be made clear soon enough."

"Oh you guys think you're funny..." Morgan complained. "If there's something to figure out, I'll do it."

"You're welcome to try," Reid shrugged, his face impassive.

They had decided to wait to tell the team about their engagement until after they'd told Diana. It was true that they were all family, but she was his mother, she deserved to know first.

The team worked the case all day, and they were still no closer to finding the UnSub. It was late evening before they called it a night, but there'd been no report of another murder so they all went to their hotel rooms. All except Morgan, who felt like doing a little gambling to unwind.

Reid inserted the card key into the slot and opened the door to his and JJ's room. Nobody batted an eye when Garcia had reserved just one room for them. Everyone had quickly gotten used to them being together, and it just seemed natural now.

As exhausted as both of them were, Reid caught her hand and pulled her to him, needing to touch her, hold her. She went to him, burying her face against his chest, and closing her eyes. The ugliness of the day was soon replaced with tender touches and soft kisses, Spencer stroking her hair and her arms completely around him.

"How did we ever get through our days without  _this_?" she said quietly.

"I can't imagine," Spencer said, "but I don't intend to find out ever again."

JJ reluctantly pulled away from him and moved to the bathroom. "I'm for the shower, you coming?"

"Sure," he answered, "but not so hot this time!"

JJ flashed him a tired smile. "Oh don't be such a big baby," she teased.

They showered languorously, taking their time. It felt to the both of them that they were washing the brutal images of the day away, leaving only the warm comfort of each other. They stepped out and dried each other off, Spencer leaning down to softly kiss her bright pink nipples. JJ lifted his face to hers and ran her lips across his. He'd been aroused since they'd washed each other, but they didn't take it any further tonight. By mutual agreement and without any words they just climbed into bed naked, Spencer spooning up against her back and JJ bringing up her knees in unison with his, taking his hand and sliding it up between her breasts. They fell asleep almost immediately, breathing together in the quiet dark of the room, safe and warm in each other's arms.

They woke early, Spencer with a start. He cried out briefly, a short bark of alarm and JJ was instantly awake.

"Spence! What is it?" she reached for him.

Spencer quickly sat up, batting her hand away before he even knew what he was doing. He was still half asleep, and he was scared.

JJ said "Baby, it's okay... we're okay...wake up now." She put her hand on his arm, and saw his eyes finally focus.

Spencer was breathing hard. "JJ, what? Oh... damn, I'm sorry! I – I was dreaming about the case, and then Tobias was there and trying to cut my - " His face crumpled momentarily before he caught himself. He ran his hands through his hair, moving it off his face and looked at JJ, his eyes wide and afraid, his mouth open.

Jennifer's beautiful face was all soft concern and she reached for him, pulling him back down on the bed and wrapping her arms and legs around him. His face found her neck, and she felt hot tears spill onto her skin.

"Shhh, sweet baby... just relax," she crooned into his hair, her eyes flashing her concern and blinking back her own tears. "Baby I hate that you're still so haunted by that bastard, but he's gone, he's gone... he can't get you, can't hurt us..."

In reply Spencer just quickly nodded against her neck, holding onto her, not saying anything. She moved her hand up and down his arm, her other still wrapped around him.

JJ's phone went off. Hotch.

Spencer abruptly pushed off the bed and went into the bathroom, grabbing up his go bag on the way in. JJ watched him, then picked up her phone.

"Yes Hotch?" she answered.

"There's been a break in the case," Hotch stated, "I need you and Reid in the lobby in 20, I'll brief you on the way to the station."

"We'll be there," she answered, and hung up.

She got up and put her robe on, then went and knocked quietly on the bathroom door. "Spence, Hotch needs us downstairs." she told him.

Spencer opened the door, fully dressed. "I'm ready," he said. Not looking at her, he moved past her into the room and reached down for his converse sneakers.

JJ reached for him and caught the tail of his shirt. "Hey... are you - "

"I'm fine, I'm good, can we just go?" Spencer interrupted. He glanced up at her, irritated, as he leaned over to tie his shoes.

"No. We can't. Spencer listen to me...  _look_  at me!"

The pleading tone in her voice made the tension in his shoulders deflate and he looked up at her searching blue eyes.

"Jennifer I know what you're going to do, and I love you for it, I do. Believe me, I'd love to just fall into your warmth and sympathy and logic and just listen to you tell me how alright everything is... we just don't have time right now and I've got to get it together. So do you." He looked at her in her robe and said "Will you please just get dressed? Hotch is waiting."

She looked at him, and understood. There'll be more time for talk and comfort later, but right now, they needed to get going.

"You're right. Just know that I'm not about to let you suffer needlessly over that freak. We'll talk later." she stated, looking directly into his eyes.

"We will." Spencer stood up and put his hands on her waist and punctuated his words with kisses - "Thank you (kiss), I love you (kiss). Now get dressed!" He swatted at her butt as he pushed her towards the bathroom.

* * *

An anonymous tip had led the team to a junkyard on the outer edge of Las Vegas, primarily a last stop for old marquees and hotel signs. Nothing of significance, or anything anyone wanted, but still good for scrap metal. There were several small outbuildings on the property, and lately there was more activity than usual, according to the caller. He also reported odd smells coming from the area.

Garcia was running down the owner of the property, one Timothy Harker, and Hotch assigned Morgan and JJ to stay at the local police station in case any other reports came through, while Reid got a warrant to search the place. Hotch and Reid then went to investigate, and to see what they could find out from the owner.

They approached what looked to be the largest building, where someone might live, and cautiously drew their guns. "Timothy Harker, FBI! We just want to talk to you," Hotch yelled.

Reid went to the other side of the door as Hotch turned the knob. It was open. The two agents went into the shack, flanking formation. A pungent, repulsive smell hit both men hard in the face as they entered and Reid staggered, dropping his weapon. He quickly picked it up and ran back out, and fell to all fours in the dirt. Reid was fighting for control as an overwhelming wave of nausea rolled over him. He couldn't hold back and vomited right there in the dirt as Hotch ran up.

"REID! What happened?" Hotch demanded.

Spencer looked up at Hotch, breathing hard, then looked back down at the ground.

"Fish organs," he said shakily. "Burning."

Aaron Hotchner's face went from confused anger to understanding in half a second. He leaned down to put a hand on Reid's back.

"Just like Hankel," Hotch said, looking back up at the empty shack.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Chapter 7**

* * *

**Dealing**

Driving back to the police station, Hotch looked at Reid and said "I don't want you in the field on this."

Spencer looked back at him and then out the front windshield. His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he said, "Hotch, I'm sorry. I had no idea that smell would be in that shack. And I really didn't know it would affect me like that, so instantly. Our sense of smell is the most influential catalyst for triggering memories. I'm sorry I didn't have your back."

"Reid, that isn't what I'm concerned with. I think you know that." Hotch stated, glancing at the younger man.

"Hotch I'm sure it's just a coincidence, but if it isn't then I am the absolute  _best_  person to be in the field here. No one else can possibly understand this UnSub's methodology like I can. If some good can come of what he did to me..." Reid shrugged, looking out his window.

They pulled into the police station and Hotch put the SUV into park and shut it off. He turned to Reid, looking at him for a long moment, then said, "Alright, I'm going to allow it. But only if you give me your word you'll  _let me know_  if things get bad.  _ME_ , Reid. Not the team. Understood?" Hotch's expression brooked no argument, and he didn't wait for Spencer's answer. He got out and headed for the station, Reid close on his heels.

"No sign of him, and the outbuildings were clean as far as we could tell... but there were burning fish guts on the stove," Hotch announced as they stalked into the station.

JJ's head snapped up and she instantly found Reid's eyes, hers flashing dark blue concern. Spencer gestured, dismissively, and gave his head a little shake, signaling her not to say anything.

Morgan said "This is turning into a trend," to try and lighten the mood, but he moved to put a hand on Reid's shoulder anyway. They all knew what that must've done to their favorite genius. JJ was grateful for Morgan's gesture. Spencer made some crack about it being a special course at Serial Killer School, and everyone relaxed.

"This may change how we look at this UnSub's methodology," Reid continued. It may just be a coincidence, like possibly they are both just zealots, but if there's any correlation, we'll find it quick." Spencer moved to the map and began plotting coordinates in his head.

JJ moved to Prentiss and said quietly, "Great. He just had a nightmare about Hankel last night."

I wonder if somehow this UnSub's triggered some similarity in his mind that he just doesn't see yet," Emily replied.

Both women turned to look at the tall man, his back to them, hands in his pockets as he stared at the map, seeing things none of them could.

"I'm just worried about him, Em. So much." JJ confided, crossing her arms.

"Our good doctor is nothing if not resilient, JJ. And he's got you to look out for him now. He'll be fine." Emily smiled and laid a hand on her friend's arm. "You'll see."

* * *

Reid had given all he had that day to the team. He'd endured a stunningly vivid reminder of his captivity and torture, and subsequently laughed it off to ease everyone's worry. He'd mapped out what he thought was the methodology for the murderer's geographical motive, and its correlation to the dump sites,  _and_  he'd set up a probability matrix for the next possible attack.

Everyone else had long gone. JJ refused to leave, no matter his pleas, so she had fallen asleep, her head on one of the desks in the precinct, while her brilliant man had been lost in his unique computations.

It was nearly 2 a.m., and, mentally spent, he walked over to her sleeping form and lifted a lock of hair off her face and smoothed it down with the rest, letting his long fingers linger in her soft locks. He moved his index finger to stroke her cheek as he dialed his phone, calling a taxi, trusting neither of them to drive back to the hotel, exhausted as they were.

He murmured into her ear, "Jennifer... wake up, beautiful. Let's go now..." as he softly kissed her delicate earlobe. JJ woke up, reaching for him, and feeling his arm, opened her eyes.

"Hey Spence..." she muttered thickly. "Let's go then..." She stood up, rubbed her eyes quickly, and slipped an arm around his waist. "Sing 'Soft Kitty'?" she sleepily demanded. They left the precinct as Spencer sang, off key; "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur..."

They arrived at their hotel room and JJ immediately went to the bathroom. Spencer was ravenously hungry and was thrilled to find a plate of cheese, crackers, and cold sliced turkey and roast beef in the mini-fridge, along with two Scrimshaw beers and a note from Prentiss - "Eat. Love you guys, Em."

Spencer unceremoniously pushed some crackers and meat into his mouth, then pointed to the plate as JJ came out of the bathroom, washed, brushed, and ready for bed in nothing but one of his old white t-shirts. She grinned at his discovery, and Emily's thoughtfulness, and wrapped up a couple slices of turkey and cheese while Spencer opened the beer. Clinking their bottles together, they both drank after he smiled a wan smile at her, their eyes meeting, completely understanding one another.

Spencer set his beer down (wow that was really tasty), and went to the bathroom to start undressing, needing to get out of these clothes. He frowned slightly as he could still smell some of the burnt odor on his shirt, but he shrugged it off and just started unbuttoning, each button releasing a fresh puff of fish guts into his nostrils. Spencer looked at himself in the mirror. He looked and saw black circles under his eyes, vivid red blood streaming down the side of his head, white crust in the corners of his mouth and he started ripping. Tearing his shirt off, buttons popping everywhere, clattering onto the bathroom tiles. He was frantic now, ripping, shredding the shirt, he tore it from his body, making grunting sounds and "no, no, no..." softly escaping from his lips.

Then she was there... she grabbed his hands and squeezed. "Shh, Spencer, stop, it's okay Spence, listen to me, listen to me..."

She quickly gathered the remnants of the shirt and she could smell it too. She snatched up the little book of hotel matches on the bathroom counter and grabbed his hand, leading him out to the balcony.

"Spencer, baby, look. Something's happening here, right here,  _right damn now_!" He stared into her angry face, focusing on her features, her determination was palpable. JJ struck the match and set it to the edge of the tattered remnants of the shirt. The thin material caught the slight breeze and engulfed the fabric in flames. Spencer watched it catch, and the ashes float away. JJ grabbed the next piece and Spencer said "Let me." He reached for the matches and JJ pressed them into his palm, tears in her eyes.

They stayed out there together until every last scrap was dust in the wind. Spencer's chest lighter with every shred fired. When it was done she wrapped her arms around his naked, shivering torso and kissed him softly on his collarbone, rubbing her face against his neck, and seeing the clear, honest relief in his huge hazel eyes.

They moved inside, arms around each other, falling into bed and immediately asleep, finally.

Spencer didn't sleep long, but it was deep and much-needed. He awoke first, early, and felt JJ next to him, smelling her clean hair. He moved his lips to her cheek, and her huge blue eyes blinked open and up at him. She smiled.

"Hi," He softly said.

She continued to smile up at him, and moved up so her breasts were pressing against his chest through the thin t-shirt.

"Good Morning, Dr. Reid. Aren't YOU an early riser today..." she said, feeling playful. She moved her leg up against his, and felt his morning arousal pressing against her stomach. She moved her hand down to encircle him and slowly started moving her hand up and down the length of him. "Is this for me?" she teased.

Spencer nodded and made a little gasping sound as he felt her hand grip him just that much harder. "God, JJ, good morning..." His breath started coming in little pants and JJ put her hand to his lean chest, pushing him further into the bed. She slid between his legs, pushing them apart as she scooted down the length of him. Spencer moaned softly as he felt her silky hair trail down his abdomen, her hand still gripping his hardness. Without a word, she slipped his now fully erect cock into her mouth, her lips slickly teasing his tip, her tongue swirling around it first one way, then the other.

Spencer cried out her name, and sunk his hands into her flaxen hair, moving his hips slowly against her waiting mouth. God she knew what he loved, how he  _needed it_  to be... she started moving her mouth up and down his hardness, faster, and sliding her hand up and over his tip as her tongue licked and slid after every stroke. She then took as much of his engorged cock into her mouth as she could, sucking and shifting her tongue from side to side while stroking his balls and thumbing his perineum, slowing her mouth movements so he could feel  _everything_...

Spencer groaned and begged her, "J-Jennifer please... come here...  _come here to me, beautiful – god, JJ"_  He cried out as she moved away, then a second later she was above him and lowering her warm, wet tightness down, down on his aching, rigid cock, her hands suddenly entwined in his own, balancing herself above him. She threw her head back and moaned as she finally impaled herself on him, forcing his hands to her breasts as she rocked against his cock, sliding up and down, faster and faster she moved, her hands now on either side of his head on the bed, bracing so her hips could slam against him over and over...

Spencer lost himself in her. He was crying out, "ah, ah, AHH", with every thrust, his couldn't take his eyes off her beautiful face, his hands gripping her hips, then her breasts and she was ravaging him and he was helpless and caught up in the maelstrom of her heat, her tightness, and god she was so incredibly  _soaking_  wet and he couldn't stop bucking against her, her walls clenching, pulling and sucking on him their own way, crashing him into wave after wave of silky, sweaty ecstasy.

When he came it was with the force of a freight train, everything in him rocketing into her, and he cried out her name with his last powerful thrusts.

He let go of her breasts as his arms fell, completely boneless. He was desperately out of breath and he couldn't open his eyes. She had wrecked him completely and he absolutely had no idea anything could ever come  _close_ to feeling this level of wonderful. His head was buzzing and he blindly reached for her as he felt her move off of him, her warmth missed for just a second as she pressed her body up against his side once more.

Spencer turned his head, opened his eyes and just looked at her. Little beads of sweat were clinging to her forehead, and he moved slightly to kiss them away. She was still breathing hard, her eyes were closed with her long lashes fanned out and her cheeks were rosy pink. Spencer absolutely knew that he'd never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. Fresh tears sprang to his eyes with the beauty of her, and of what had just happened between them. He felt, no – he  _knew_  beyond any doubt that he would never be the same.

"Say something, Spence," JJ purred, her eyes still closed.

"I'm just, not... I'm not sure that I can," he murmured, a catch in his throat.

"Mmm, that's good..." she smiled.

Spencer was still looking at her, she felt it and opened her eyes.

"Did you... do you...  _know_  what just happened? I mean... Jennifer I can't even... I can barely form words and it...  _you_... JJ that was the most beautiful thing I've ever felt in my life. My  _entire life_. I'm still feeling it." His hand shook as he brought it up to touch her face and she looked at him with darkening blue eyes. "You. You did that..."

JJ leaned up and kissed him, deep and warm. "I love you, Spencer. I wanted you to feel it. Fiercely."

Spencer looked into her eyes and he did, he did feel it.

"Spence, there have been so many things that have happened to you in your life that I wish I could take away, including this, this week. I can't do that. But I can make sure that the rest of your life is... suffused... with as much love and happiness and goodness as you can handle. As much as you could ever possibly want or need." She furrowed her brow and continued, touching his chest for emphasis. When I nearly lost you this last time, and then I didn't, something locked into place with me. I know that things won't always be perfect with us, but I do know that you will never, ever be without me. I will always, always love you and always need you, and I need you to feel it in your bones... in your soul of souls." She looked down, blushing. "It seemed a good way to show you..." she said, smiling softly.

Spencer thought his heart might burst. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest, and kissed her long and deep. "It was the very  _best_  way, JJ, god, the  _very_  best..." and then he was kissing her again, and the world went away for the both of them.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Chapter 8**

* * *

**Milestones**

They had been in town for three days, and day and night working the case had left them weary and unable to break away to go see Spencer's mother. After the morning briefing Hotch had suggested to Reid that he do exactly that.

"There haven't been any new leads, and it'll clear your head. Maybe you'll come up with something we haven't thought of yet. And it will be good for you to see her, I'm sure." Hotch said.

"I've been wanting to, there's just been no time. It'll just be a couple of hours...?" Reid promised.

"Is Agent Jareau going with you?" He asked the young doctor.

"She is," Spencer nodded. "We have... things to discuss."

Aaron Hotchner looked directly into Reid's eyes, understanding in his own. "Take the time you need, and please give her my regards." Hotched moved to leave the briefing room.

"Yes, sir. She'll appreciate that, thank you." Spencer replied.

He picked up his tan leather satchel and slung the strap over his head and crosswise along his body. JJ waited for him outside the doorway, and they walked out of the precinct together. Spencer placed his hand at the small of her back and said "Wanna go see my mom?"

JJ looked up and met his eyes, arching her eyebrows. "No time like the present," she agreed. They got to the car and Spencer reached to open her door. JJ turned around and looked up at him again, her hand reaching up to brush a stray hair from his brow.

"You nervous?" she asked.

He looked at her and the corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile. "Not in the least," he said, confidently. "Let's go!"

Diana was reading. Of course she was reading. Sitting in the common room at Bennington, wrapped in her favorite chenille robe, head bent to F. Scott Fitzgerald's Tender is the Night, for about the twentieth time. The classic was one of her perennial favorites, and in a way, she identified with it.

She looked up when she heard a voice say "Hi, mom."

She tilted her head and gazed at the tall man before her for a moment. Spencer. She noticed the petite blonde woman next to him smiling at her and said, "Spencer, are you here to arrest me?"

Spencer smiled too. "No mom, I'm here because I have... we have... some news. Do you remember JJ?"

"Jennifer Jareau, yes. Yes. It's been a long time. You look well." Diana offered.

JJ smiled again and said "It's good to see you, Diana."

"Why are you here?" Diana asked, in her usual no-nonsense way.

Spencer bent to take his mother's arm. "Mom, could we go sit together somewhere?"

They left the room and walked down the long hallway to the solarium, deserted at this time of day. They seated themselves at one of the long, comfortable sofas, Diana between them, and she smiled at the sun on her face, beaming through the glass.

"Mom, you know Jennifer and I have been friends for a long time..." Spencer began.

"Are you pregnant?" She interrupted Spencer, looking at JJ.

JJ couldn't help it, she burst out laughing at the unexpected question. She touched Diana's arm, a warm gesture. "No... no," she said gently. "But I am in love with your son." She looked directly into the older woman's eyes, then met Spencer's, signaling him to continue, encouraging him.

Spencer swallowed and said "... And I love her too, very much. Mom, I've asked Jennifer to marry me and she said 'yes'."

Diana plopped both her hands on her knees and stood up. She took a few steps, then turned around and looked at the two young agents sitting there looking up at her. She twisted her hands together in front of herself for just a moment before spreading her arms wide and saying...

"About time."

Spencer and JJ stood up and Diana moved to embrace them both. She leaned her face toward Spencer's ear and whispered "A mother knows...".

Spencer squeezed his eyes tightly shut and said around the lump in his throat, "I knew you would."

The three of them broke the embrace and Spencer said "We haven't worked out the details yet, mom, but we wanted to tell you first, before anyone else."

Diana nodded, looking pleased, and with her usual economy of words said to JJ; "Now... about that pregnancy thing..." she put her arm around JJ's shoulders as they moved to leave the solarium, Spencer following the two women with his head down, hands in pockets, smiling.

* * *

Spencer pulled the rental car into a diagonal space on a tony side street, lined with local shops, far from the glitzy strip. He put it in park and turned off the engine.

JJ looked confused. "Where are we, Spence? I thought we were heading back to the precinct," she said.

"In a bit, but I need you to see something first." Spencer replied. He smiled quickly and raised his eyebrows. "C'mon," he said, as he got out of the car.

JJ followed him, catching his hand as they met in front of the car, then stepped onto the sidewalk. Spencer was glancing up at the shop signs, looking for something. He was moving quickly and JJ was practically dragged along. She matched his pace, laughing a little at his game. "Spencer Reid, what is going - ".

Spencer stopped suddenly and JJ ran into him, he caught her and they both laughed, a little breathless. Spencer leaned down and kissed her lightly. "Here we are," he said.

JJ saw that they were in front of a lovely little antique shop. Spencer opened the door for her and a little bell tinkled as they walked in. The shop was sparkling clean and remarkably uncluttered for a store so small, everything in its place. The proprietor, a rotund older man with suspenders and round glasses, waved his chubby fingers distractedly in their direction as they approached the counter, the floorboards creaking under their footsteps.

Spencer looked at JJ, then up at the man. "Hi, I'm uh... I'm Spencer Reid... I believe you have something for me?" He looked at the shopkeeper earnestly.

"Hmm...?" The shopkeeper said absent-mindedly. "I don't recall that name... Spencer, you say?"

"Yes... Reid, Spencer Reid..." He started to get flustered. He thought for sure this was the place Garcia had found the... it... .

Suddenly grinning, the round old man reached under the counter and brought out a small, dark blue box, setting it on the counter in front of JJ.

"Relax, son... I have it right here." He fairly twinkled as he moved away from the counter, giving the two young people a measure of privacy.

JJ stared at the tiny box as Spencer watched her, excited for her to see. He was so nervous he was practically vibrating, but Jennifer was perfectly still. She lifted her eyes to his sweet face, then back down to the box. "Spence..." she whispered.

"Open it, Jennifer."

And she did. She reached forward and lifted the tiny, hinged lid and beheld the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen. Asscher cut one carat cerulean blue diamond in a white gold setting, surrounded by glittering point diamonds with two baguette-cut stones flaring out from either side, the blazing blue of the rare, exquisite center stone a perfect match to her own impossibly blue eyes.

Jennifer made a soft noise and leaned into Spencer, his arms immediately around her, supporting her. Strong, tough agent that she was, JJ still had a girly side, and this stunning, tiny piece of love in front of her spoke to that side of her, immeasurably. She sighed softly as she took it out of the box and put it in Spencer's hand, her head resting in the crook of his neck. "Put in on me, Spence. My god baby, it's amazing... perfect..." she said, as he slid it on her delicate third finger, the fit as if it were made for her.

She kissed him then, and tasted tears on his face. She kept kissing him, murmuring 'I love you, I love you...' in between kisses, and hearing his voice saying it in return, their lips, their hearts becoming one yet again, in the little antique shop in Las Vegas.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Chapter 9**

* * *

**Deja Vu**

They walked into the station, both smiling, knowing what was to come. The team didn't disappoint. Emily was the first to notice.

"HOLY - ! Are you  _KIDDING_  me?" she exclaimed. Emily strode over to JJ and grabbed her hand, lifting it up for everyone to see. "Morgan, LOOK!"

Derek lifted his head, caught Emily's expression, and immediately headed over to the couple. He took JJ's hand gently and looked at the beautiful ring, then smiled. "Now... if that isn't a pretty sight," he said softly. He let go JJ's hand and moved to capture his thin doctor friend in a giant bear hug. "You DOG! Howcome you didn't tell me you were planning this?" Spencer made a strangled protest as Morgan pretended to choke him.

"I knew!" said Penelope, walking over to JJ. "Boy Wonder told me exactly what he wanted and I searched until I found it – but ohhh, boy... that is just... just..." Garcia's chin quivered a bit as she laid eyes on the precious bauble and sighed "perfect."

"That's just what I said," JJ confirmed, beaming. "So it was a team effort, hmm?" She looked up at Spencer.

Spencer looked into the eyes of  _his_  idea of perfection and said "Yes. I knew exactly... I mean I could just picture it and needed it to be just right and you and I haven't been apart for more than 5 minutes... so I enlisted Garcia's talents, and..." He shrugged. "It was the only way I could be sneaky."

Aaron Hotchner came around the corner and stopped when he took in the happy scene before him. The usually serious man couldn't help but smile as he noticed the ring and all their grinning faces, immediately realizing what had happened.

"Congratulations you two, I mean that." He walked over to Spencer and put a hand on his shoulder. "We'll have to celebrate properly when we all get back, and I do mean properly. Right now though, sorry to say I need all of us working this. It's taking too long to catch this UnSub and according to Reid's calculations, we don't have much time until he strikes again."

Everyone nodded and murmured agreement, then filed into the briefing room to hear the latest from the local police. It didn't look good. They were no closer to catching the killer than they had been from the start. They had clues, but no hard evidence linking this Harker man to the murders, and they couldn't even find him for questioning. The police had put out an APB on him as soon as Hotch and Reid had left to investigate, but nothing had turned up. The team wasn't used to this degree of difficulty in catching the UnSub, and they were getting frustrated.

"I know we usually are further along by now, but the fact that this UnSub, or even just this suspect is missing is hampering everything we're trying to do," Hotch said. "We need to -".

Reid broke in, " - Hotch. Turn around."

Hotch spun around, hand on holster and there was the man they'd been looking for in the doorway of the precinct. The team all got to their feet at once, Morgan and JJ drawing their weapons, and Harker said "Well? What do you want?" his hands in the air.

* * *

Reid sat across the table from Harker, eyeing him and asking him short, quick questions. Gauging the responses was usually easy for Spencer, but he was having trouble with the nonchalant attitude of the suspect.

"Do you know anything about the deaths of these people?" Spencer slid photos across the table.

"No." Harker shrugged.

"Where were you at time these crimes happened?" Spencer looked at the man's craggy face, tired, work-worn to be sure, but not the face of an insane man. Harker looked at the dates on the pictures.

"Church."

"Easy enough to check," Spencer said, spine straight as a ramrod. He spread the pictures out.

The man looked up and met Reid's eyes, cloudy pale blue, rheumy with exhaustion. "I'm not sure what you want me to say here. I just run my business and mind my own. Nobody bothers me, and I don't bother nobody."

Reid flared his nostrils as the offensive odor of the man's dwelling filled his senses. Morgan and Hotch stood behind him, ready for anything. Reid felt sick. He wasn't getting any kind of criminal behavior from this guy, and he felt like they were back to square one.

"How did you know to come here?" Reid asked, swallowing.

"Man said there was men with FBI vests and guns on my property. I run a clean business, sir, a clean business." He looked up at Hotch, then at Morgan. "I came to see why you were at my place." He said.

Spencer looked at him. Aaron Hotchner leaned in and said "What was burning on your stove, and why?"

Spencer got up and walked towards the door. He wanted to hear the answer, but Morgan interrupted with "What man told you FBI were there?".

"Neighbor of sorts, man I know from church. Name's uh... Tobias. Tobias Hankel."

Reid turned around slowly, shaking. Before anyone could stop him, he moved to the table and slammed his hands down, jarring the suspect. He said in the softest voice possible, "You're lying."

The man looked like he'd been slapped, and Hotch moved to hold Reid back, placing a hand on his arm. The team closed ranks around Harker, each member's eyes lasered on the man's face. Morgan shouldered Hotch out of the way and fairly picked Reid up to get him out of that room. Reid yelled "NO, He's LYING!" as Derek forcefully took him out.

The door slammed behind them and Reid jerked around to face Morgan, angry.

"Why did you DO that? You know I need to be in there! Didn't you hear what he said?  _Sonofabitch!_ ", Spencer yelled, his voice up two octaves. He tried to reach around the big man to get at the doorknob but Morgan stopped him, his voice deep with sympathy.

"Reid... no." He put his hands on Spencer's tense shoulders and forced him to look him in the eye. "Not gonna happen," Morgan said gently, giving a shake of his head for emphasis. "Reid,  _think_. How could this be? Hankel was in Georgia. This is practically the other side of the country. There has to be more to this. This guy isn't our UnSub. I know it and so do you."

"Maybe so, but this guy knows more than he's telling! Did you see his face, his micro-expressions? All fear and deception!" Reid insisted, still louder than normal.

"Kid look at me,  _look!_ " Morgan caught his eye again. "The guy was afraid of  _you_ , Reid. You. Otherwise, he's telling us the truth. He's just an old man trying to get by. We have to find this other guy. And we need to find out why he calls himself Hankel."

Spencer broke Morgan's gaze and turned around, folding his arms tight against himself and began to pace, looking down. "We can't let this guy go, we can't." Spencer said, quieter now. "He knows something, he knows more than we do and we can't just let him leave...".

"We'll hold him until we know all he does, ok? Reid, we're gonna get to the bottom of this." Morgan promised.

Reid made a dismissive gesture and Derek said "Really. Do you honestly think that, knowing what little we do right now, that we would ever let any of this slide?  _Any_  of us? That I'm gonna let this go now? That JJ is?" Morgan spread his hands.

Spencer stopped pacing and said "Well I get to finish questioning him, then."

Morgan said "No, Hotch is doing that. Your head is too close to this."

Spencer thought for a moment. "Well, I'm definitely going to watch, then."

"Behind the tinted glass, yes." Derek affirmed.

"Derek?" Spencer's voice was subdued now.

"Yeah?"

"Can we call Gideon?"

* * *

At that moment, JJ came out of the briefing room, quickly closing the door behind her and made a beeline for Spencer. He held out his hand to her as she approached and she took it, searching his face. He looked at her and blinked slowly, nodding to let her know he was okay. Neither one of them wanted to display too much affection at work, but they had always readily hugged each other, this was no different.

After making sure Spencer was alright, she rounded on Morgan, her voice raspy silk, her eyes steel. "Look, I know he needed to get out of there, and because it's you Derek, I'm giving you a warning. I also know that you didn't mean to hurt him, but I'm telling you right now, you ever touch him like that again? I'll take you down. With the skills  _you_  taught me."

She turned back to Spencer, touched his arm and said, "I'll be right back, I need some air". She moved to go outside and Spencer watched her leave. He turned back to Derek, hands in pockets, and shrugged. If the mood hadn't been so serious he would've laughed. Derek just stood there with his mouth open, eyes wide. He broke into a rueful smile and said, "I guess I deserved that, I just didn't want you in that room one second more. I couldn't see any other way to make that happen."

Spencer dropped his eyes and said, "She didn't mean it, she's just really - "

"- in love with you," Morgan finished.

Spencer smiled, dimpling, in spite of himself. God he loved hearing that. "Yeah."

Morgan turned back to the subject of Gideon.

"Reid, I don't know if that's such a good idea to call him. I don't know that he'd even answer if we did. He hasn't so far."

"This is different," Reid pushed. "This is somehow related to Hankel and what he did to me, and I can't imagine that Gideon would turn his back on us asking for help here."

"You never imagined him leaving us in the first place, yet he did." Morgan reminded him.

Spencer flinched, but ignored the dig. "Derek this case is tough, one of the toughest we've had in a long time and we're all struggling with it, not just me. We need fresh eyes here, and he knows the backstory. We need him. I think Hotch would agree."

"We can ask him but Reid I don't want you getting all gung-ho about this just to get let down again. Gideon flattened you when he left. He let us all down – Hotch, all of us, the whole team..." Morgan moved to put a hand on Reid's shoulder but Spencer pushed it away.

"I'm not a child, Derek. I know what he did. Better than any of you. I just think bringing him back in, even against his will, or Hotch's, might be the only way to solve this case. I'm sure he could come up with something we've missed. He's done it a hundred times. I think we need to call him, I mean it. I'll go to Strauss if I have to." Spencer turned and left Morgan standing there, eyes wide in surprise for the second time in five minutes, and went outside to find Jennifer. He needed to hear her voice in this.

He found JJ leaning against their rental car, arms folded. He moved to stand beside her, mimicking her pose. "Hey I need to talk to you about something," he began.

She looked up at him, raising her eyebrows.

"What do you think about trying to get in touch with Gideon – bringing him in to consult on this case?"

Her first response was to chuckle a bit, then seeing his expression, she sobered. "You're... serious?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Spence, look, I know what that guy said in there threw you but - " she said, concern in her voice.

"It's not just that. Jennifer listen, we are  _all_  having a rough go with this one. We need him. He's familiar with the Hankel case and we need his brain in this. He thinks differently than I do, than the rest of us. I'm sure he could help.

"I'm not so sure he could, given his last known state of mind. And the last thing I want is him coming back here insinuating himself into this investigation and  _your_   _life_ , only to turn around and disappear again." She shook her head. "Spence, you have to understand how this would affect you." She reached out and took his hand in hers. "Baby, please don't pursue this. I couldn't take it if you were hurt again. Not like that."

He dropped her hand. "Everyone's so concerned with me getting hurt, like I'm some little kid," He said, getting angry. "Well what about the case, what about catching this killer? Remember? You know, the reason we're all here? I'm not some invalid, JJ, I am a professional and I'll be just fine, thanks." He spread his arms and started walking backwards into the precinct. "I thought I'd have your support here."

JJ stayed by the car, arms folded again and shook her head. "Sorry," she called after him, "I'm not on board. We'll figure it out without him –  _Spencer!_ " But he'd already gone back inside.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Chapter 10**

* * *

**Alone**

"I don't think so, Reid." Hotch looked at Spencer in all seriousness. "There's no denying that his insight here might help, but we don't even know what his mindset is. Calling him in now might very well be more detrimental to his state of mind than the benefit of any help he might be able to give us. Frankly, I'm surprised that you didn't think of that possibility on your own."

"I don't have any evidence that he's really that fragile, do you?" Spencer countered. "What's the harm in at least calling and asking him? For this one case? I happen to believe that when he hears about this, he'll do all he can to help. Isn't the point of us being here to  _solve_ this, to catch this UnSub?"

"You  _happen_ to believe, or you have to?" Hotch answered. "I'll tell you what I think, Reid. I think you're being selfish in wanting this, and if I didn't know you better I'd think you just wanted him back here for your own personal reasons that have nothing to do with this case. What Hankel did to you was horrific, but you are healing, moving forward and making the most of your life. Do you really want to sacrifice all Gideon's progress just to get a few answers? I'm denying your request." Hotch grabbed a file off the desk and moved to go talk to the police Chief.

"I'll go to Strauss." Spencer said, his face stubborn, his arms crossed.

Hotch stopped, turned around, and walked back to stand right in front of Reid, his face inches from Spencer's. He said in a low voice - "You're welcome to do that. And when she asks me my opinion, and she will, I'll tell her exactly what I've told you. What do you think her decision will be? Instead of looking for a solution from someone else, you need to keep your head in this. I need your reason and logic right here, not off ruminating about getting Gideon back." Hotch looked at Spencer right in the eye for another long moment before moving off to find the Chief.

Spencer let out his breath, unaware that he'd been holding it. Quiet Hotch was even scarier that angry Hotch. Still, Spencer felt he himself was right, he just knew that Jason was the key to cracking this case wide open. If the team didn't agree, too bad. He was still going to try to convince them. And he was still going to Strauss with his request.

* * *

JJ woke up in the dark, on a hard metal floor. She shook her head... big mistake. Ugh it  _hurt!_ Damn it, where WAS she? She couldn't see anything but could tell she was in a vehicle, she could hear and feel the engine vibration. No windows. She knew they were moving... but who? Who had her, and... why?

Last thing she remembered was watching Spencer retreat, upset that she wasn't in agreement with his need to call Jason. She called his name and listened... no answer. GOD her head hurt. She fought rising panic and tried to think. She felt for her sidearm and was dismayed, though not really surprised, to find it gone. Same for her phone - no, she had dropped that. Agent Jennifer Jareau had been taken. Kidnapped. The awareness sank into her stomach like a rock. She was alone.

* * *

Emily walked up to Morgan, phone in hand. "Hey Morgan, have you seen JJ? She's not answering her phone."

Derek closed the file he was reading and said "You mean after she chewed me a new one for carrying Reid out of the room?" He smirked. "Don't  _mess_ with her man."

"Uh, okay. No, I - " Emily began. Just then Spencer walked over, his phone in his hand too. "Hey Reid, you calling JJ? I can't get her to pick up."

"No, I was calling Strauss but I just got her voicemail. What, she's not answering? We had a little difference of opinion outside, but she didn't seem upset or anything..." He said, thoughtful.

"You called Strauss? Reid, you should let it go." Morgan warned.

"I told you I'd call her if I had to. I told Hotch, too. I still think I'm right."

"Wait, what'd I miss?" Emily asked.

Derek stood with his arms folded as Spencer filled Emily in. She looked from one man to the other and said to Morgan, "What? I think it's a great idea. All the points you touched on make sense, Reid. Gideon could be a real help with this case."

Spencer looked triumphant. "I know! And all Derek and JJ can think about is that maybe I'll get hurt again, and Hotch is worried about Gideon's mental health. I'm telling you Emily, it won't be a problem. We need his insight to help catch this guy!"

Morgan put his hands up in front of him. "Look, you know how I feel about it, and now I'm out of this conversation. I've got other fish guts to fry." He backed away and headed for the briefing room, file in hand.

Spencer frowned at the pun, but just shrugged and turned back to Emily. "So I can tell Strauss that you're backing me on this?"

Emily distractedly said "Sure..." as she tried to dial JJ once more. "Still no answer."

Spencer looked out the window but couldn't see any sign of Jennifer. "She was just out there by the car a few minutes ago..." he said.

He felt a cold stab of fear in his stomach. "Emily, check and see that her purse is still here, I'm gonna see if I can find her. Spencer moved quickly out the door, picking up his pace when he got outside. He scanned the parking lot, unable to see her. He ran over to their rental car and there on the ground was her phone. He leaned down to pick it up as Emily came running up to him.

He looked at Emily's worried face, panic starting in his own eyes. "Her purse is still here," she said.

Spencer held up JJ's phone, still looking around, frantic now. Emily put her hand on Reid's arm as Spencer met her eyes.

"No." he whispered. "Emily..." he choked.

Spencer felt like he couldn't breathe. There was a dense heaviness in his chest and his head was buzzing. He saw Emily's mouth moving but he couldn't hear her past the roaring in his ears.

" -  _Reid!_ " she shouted for the second time. "Reid it's alright, she's okay, we'll find her! She took his anguished face in her hands and said "Look at me,  _hear_ me!  _We will find her_ -"

Spencer looked at her... god it was so hard to breathe - and everything was gray, out of focus, the edges of his vision black. Hotch came running up, "Prentiss,  _what_? - "

"Someone's got her, someone took JJ! Reid just nearly... "

"I'm fine, no... I'm fine," Spencer said, bracing himself against the car. He stood looking all directions, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. "We need to go after her!"

"Besides her phone, did you find anything?" Hotch asked.

"N-no. With all... there's been no..." Emily exhaled and put her hands on her hips, looking down at the ground. "Sir, he took her from a  _police station_ parking lot. Is this guy for real? There has to be a connection to this case. This was no random abduction."

Hotch walked around the car, scanning for anything that could give a clue to how she was taken, and even to who took her. Emily took the opposite side and did the same. "Hotch, Reid, look at this," she said, pointing to two even scuff marks on the pavement. "If these are marks from her bootheels, she didn't fight. She was either knocked out or drugged, then dragged a little before being lifted into a waiting vehicle..." Emily walked to where she pictured JJ being put in the car, and bent down again. "Tire tracks."

Hotch said, "Lets get Garcia to review the security surveillance tape, and get forensics out here. When did this happen, exactly?"

"Reid said she was just out here a couple of minutes before he came back in. He said they had a small disagreement, but that she wasn't upset or anything." Emily replied.

"I can guess what that was about," Hotch said under his breath. "There's nothing more for us out here, lets go look at that security recording."

Spencer pressed the heels of his hands to his temples and said "I'm going to look out here a little longer, see if anyone was out here, saw anything. I'll meet you guys in there, tell Morgan!" He turned and ran to the edge of the parking lot, head pivoting as he ran.

He couldn't falter right now, he had to move past the crushing fear. To think. Thinking was the  _very best_ thing he did. SHE needed him to be there, to be strong, and smart, and  _right_. He needed it too, and they needed him to help get her back.

* * *

**Chapter 11: Chapter 11**

* * *

**Finding Her**

"Guys, come look at this," Spencer said as he hurried back into the station. His thumbs flew through JJ's phone. Morgan was next to him in a second.

"We have a code word. Ever since what happened to me? Even before we were together, if either of us are in trouble... pickle. It'd be in her texts, her drafts. If she had... time." Reid cleared his throat and looked down. "And there's a chance she shot a picture. We... went over this...". Three seconds later he showed the team the result. "Pickle" flashed on the screen for all to see. He thumbed again and murmured "That's my girl..." as he found not one but two photos snapped just at the time she was taken. A half-face shot, a of an eye, brown, dark hair falling forward over it, a day-old beard, white man... and another one; a blurry side-view of what looked like a black, windowless delivery truck.

Emily moved to stand beside him. "That's perfect, that just what we need," she said.

Spencer was at Garcia's desk in half a second, passing her the phone. "Can you run this shot through FRS? The sooner we know who he is..." Spencer stressed.

Garcia wiped her eyes for the twentieth time and said "Oh yeah. We'll get him, just  _watch_  how fast..." as she clicked the program into place. Spencer walked back to Hotch and said "I wish the shot of this truck was clearer, but do we have enough to throw this out there to the local police?"

"So they'll pull over any truck that resembles it. I was just thinking the same thing." Hotch answered. "Garcia, while the face-recognition is working, I need you to run the plate numbers of any black panel delivery trucks. Let's hope it's registered here. Morgan give the description of the vehicle to them. I want every cop on the lookout for it. JJ, call a press -" Hotch stopped himself and looked down at the floor, then to Reid. All eyes on him, he said "I'm sorry. It was automatic and I... I'm sorry."

Reid ignored the slip and his eyes were vacant as he walked over to the map and picked up a marker. "Based on the time he took her, the possible top-speed of a truck like that, and figuring in traffic patterns, we need to search in an area approximately  _this_  size..." He drew a circle on the map with the precinct in the very center. "Hotch we need to fan out in every direction." He clicked the lid on the marker and set it down, his hand shaking.

"Reid...", Hotch said, concerned.

"We need to go  _now_." Reid answered, avoiding Hotch's look. He went back to Garcia's desk.

"Reid, you should stay here and work with Garcia in case we get any hits. Prentiss, you're with me - ".

"I'm going with Morgan." Spencer stated, and gave Hotch a look that left no room for argument.

Hotch pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded. "Let's go, then. Morgan, you and Reid take East, we'll take South and I'll get officers to cover the other two directions. Everyone maintain radio or cell contact, and Garcia, you know what to do if anything turns up." He looked at Reid. "Let's go get her."

* * *

JJ felt as though they'd been driving for hours. The truck was sweltering in the Vegas heat and she had long ago given up any attempts to get comfortable, jerked around as she was by the erratic driving of the UnSub. Her head was still pounding, if possible it hurt even worse than when she woke up. She wondered how much time had passed, and she knew herself to be dehydrated.

She thought of Spence. Oh god, how terrified he must be... she knew he, make that  _they_ , would've figured it out by now, and she hoped they had found her phone with the pathetic clues she managed to leave. For all the good it would do. She had absolutely no idea where she was, or why she'd been taken. She remembered being grabbed from behind, and a... smell? Oh shit... chloroform? Who uses  _that_  stuff any more? And something else... ugh, she remembered the smell from Spencer's shirt when they burned it on the patio... that fish smell.

Spence. They had argued right before this happened. She still felt she was right in not trusting that bringing Gideon in would be worth the aftermath, or even that he was the right person to help. She would go to the mat to defend her position if it meant sparing Spencer any more pain in the long run. Yet here she was, causing him untold pain because she  _allowed_  herself to be abducted. Ahh, god, her poor, sweet man. She ached with the thought of him.

Her thoughts were cut short as the truck came to a sudden halt. She heard them kill the engine and she felt her adrenaline surge. She crouched as close to the door as she could and still get leverage. If they didn't expect a fight then they should've tied her up. JJ wasn't much for the damseling.

* * *

Garcia had found four possible vehicles that could match the description of the truck. She had to fight to focus, her eyes kept clouding over with tears. JJ taken... it was all too much for one afternoon. Too much for one... ever. And Gaia knows what was happening to her. How scared she must be... . Penelope mentally shook herself and returned to her screens. She sent off the addresses to the team members based on what direction they were already headed. Face-recognition was still scanning the half-face shot with no possibles yet. She put her elbows on the desk, her head in her hands.

Emily said "Hotch, we've got an address, two, actually, for the truck."

"Let's start with the one furthest away, so we can work our way back. Where?" Hotch asked.

Emily gave him the address and GPS'd the coordinates. She looked at Hotch.

"What if I knew... something. Something about JJ, Hotch. Something important."

"Prentiss, if you know something that can help us get to her, anything at all, you need - "

"No sir, it isn't like that. It's personal. She was going to tell Reid today but then I guess their spat got in the way and now... sir, if Reid knew, it would kill him. I'm afraid we'd lose him."

"He's a lot tougher than most people give him credit for. Rather than speculate, I'm just going to say that I'm sure I know what you're talking about, and I'd rather not have it confirmed before Reid hears. He deserves that. Are we clear?"

"Yes." Emily turned her head and looked out the window.

* * *

"Drive faster, Morgan," Reid pressed.

"I'm pushing 90, Reid. I'll get us there as fast a humanly possible." Morgan told him.

"Do you want me to drive? Because I don't think there's a speed limit for us right now and if your 'vibin' it' isn't working? I'd just as soon get behind that wheel."

Morgan bit back a smart-ass reply and said "Just sit tight, kid. We've got about 40 more miles and there's only so fast we can go. Reid, we're gonna get to her. You know that, right?"

"I don't know any such thing. I tell you what I do know. I know that you found ME because I was able to throw out clues that Hotch was smart enough to pick up on. There's no camera where she is. There's no... there's nothing. How is she supposed to tell us where she is? She can't, Derek! She..." Spencer grimaced and looked out his window, fighting back tears, willing the car to go faster.

Morgan spoke in his deepest voice, "We are following the leads right now, the leads  _you_  found that  _she_  gave us. We are going to her, or Hotch and Prentiss are, or the cops, and if they find her they will call us immediately. We are all on this and everyone is doing our very best, including JJ. I can tell you first hand, they are gonna have a  _helluva_  time keeping her. Reid, we all love her. She's your fiance but she belongs to us all. Trust the team. We'll bring her back to you. To all of us."

Spencer looked at Derek, eyes brimming, believing him, and said...

"Okay."

* * *

**Chapter 12: Chapter 12**

* * *

**Surprise**

JJ grabbed the door handle as soon as she heard whoever was on the other side try to open it. She intended to hold it closed as long as possible, then hit them with the door as she leapt out, catching them off-balance. But the man was stronger than she anticipated and she was pulled out of the van as he yanked it open. She used the proximity to launch herself at him, knocking him to the ground and rolling with him a second, reaching down and grabbing his gun. She sprung up, pushing herself off of him and shoving her boot onto his neck as she aimed his own gun at his face.

"TRY IT – GO AHEAD!" she yelled. "I fucking d _are_ you."

The man was choking under her boot and he looked up at her, eyes blazing with pain and anger. He was gripping her ankle with both hands, but let go as she fired a warning shot near his temple. He put his hands up and JJ said "Get up."

The man stood slowly, rubbing his sore neck, and JJ missed him sneaking a slender knife out of his boot. He lunged at her and she fired, just missing his shoulder. His momentum knocked both of them to the ground and she felt his weight on her and cold steel against her throat. Before he could get purchase she smashed the flat side of the gun into the man's temple and he groaned and fell to the side, grazing her throat with the knife. JJ shoved him the rest of the way off her and jumped up, crouching to shove the gun up under his chin, her knee on his crotch. He lay very still then and she leaned forward and muttered through gritted teeth, breathless, "Who are you?  _What is this about"?_

JJ heard the click of a gun bolt behind her and snapped her head around.

"That'll be enough now, Agent Jareau.", said the man holding the pistol pointed directly at her.

Jennifer's eyes widened in shock as she took in the sight of him. She swallowed and slowly stood up, for the man behind her was someone she knew, someone she trusted. She dropped the gun and turned to face him, lifting her hands.

"Gideon." she said.

* * *

Jason Gideon said nothing as the other man tied JJ's wrists behind her and shoved her unceremoniously towards the small cabin at the top of the rise. JJ stopped firing questions at Gideon long enough to take in her surroundings. They were deep in a wood, she could tell. Oh great. If this wasn't crazy enough, now she had to be in the woods? She could tell that he was unconcerned if she were to scream, or else he would've gagged her.

She should've tried to make a break for it, but her curiosity kept her from attempting an escape. She needed to know why he had taken her, why he was doing this. She marveled at the coincidence of her conversation with Spence, earlier. JJ didn't think he was going to kill her, but at this point she wasn't sure of anything. She needed answers, and Jason was going to give them to her.

* * *

Morgan and Reid were approaching the forest's edge and Reid said, distractedly, "I grew up here and never knew there were woods so close."Morgan just nodded and kept his eyes on the horizon, his peripheral vision scanning the sides of the road. He felt like a hawk looking for prey, and he was just as tense. If he was this wound up he could only imagine what the man next to him must be feeling.

"She could be anywhere, Derek." Spencer said softly. "Behind that tree... or that one... or the one we just passed."

"Don't do that, kid. You'll make yourself crazy with that shit..." Derek said.

Spencer hacked out a mirthless laugh. "Well, it runs in the family, so..." he trailed off.

"Knock it off. Get your head back here with me, right now Reid. You hearing me? I need you with me – JJ needs you right here and we've just got a few miles to go until the turnoff. We're gonna find her... I can feel it." Derek banged on the steering wheel for emphasis.

"If he's hurt her, I'm going to kill him." Spencer said simply, looking out the window. "I'm going to pull the trigger, and watch him fall, and I will stand over him and stare as his life drains away. And I'll be glad." He turned his face away from the window and looked at Morgan. "Stay out of my way."

Morgan could feel the younger man's eyes on his face, but pretended not to hear him. Let him vent a little. If things didn't go to plan, Reid may just have to get in line behind him.

Just then a deer bounded out of the forest to Morgan's left, right in front of the car. Derek slammed on the brakes but the deer chose that moment to freeze in place and there was no way to avoid hitting it. He tried to spin the car so the rear would take the brunt of the impact, but it was no good. Both men's airbags deployed at the impact, but the deer's hooves crashed through the front windshield and began kicking furiously. Spencer was kicked in the head, blood flying, and Derek in the chest and upper arm, a huge gash, immediately exposing bone. Derek tried once more to spin the car, trying to dislodge the deer, but the car ran off the road, tires screeching and metal frame flexing as it tried to remain upright under the injured man's control. They barreled into the ditch, flipping over as the vehicle finally came to a crunching, mangled stop.

Then there was no sound at all.

* * *

JJ stared at Gideon passively. She was bound to a kitchen chair and Gideon sat directly across from her, leaning forward, his elbows on this thighs and his hands steepled in front of his face. He was frowning but she could tell he wasn't seeing her. He still hadn't said a word. The other man waited outside, she didn't know where, and didn't care. JJ had been drilling Jason since he brought her here, trying to make sense of any of it, even turning her questions to him personally – where had he been? Was he alright? Was this part of a plan? Did he know who the UnSub was? But he wasn't cooperating. At all. He just sat there, listening and silent with a distant look on his face. She was exhausted. And hungry and thirsty. And it was getting dark. What did he  _want?_

Jason stood up, tilting his head back and rubbing his hands together. "Do you need anything? Water? Are you hungry?", he asked her, like they were old friends instead of kidnapper and abductee.

She was trying really hard not to think like that right now, but it was getting more and more difficult. The long ride in the boiling hot van, the fight, no food or water since she and Spence had eaten breakfast... together. Jason's kind, almost concerned tone took the last of her resolve and she dropped her head down, chin to chest and let the tears come, silently. Her slashed neck, superficial as the wound was, stung so much and just contributed to her misery. And she... she... oh god she was going to be sick.

"Gideon cut me loose right now or I'm going to vomit all over your floor... NOW!"

Jason went around behind her and slipped his knife through her ropes, then took her arms and folded them behind her.

"Let's go then," he said, as he guided her to the bathroom. His grip tight on her arms. He held her hair back as she tried to empty her already empty stomach, and wiped her face with a clean cloth when she couldn't do any more. He guided her to the small, dark back room where there was a bed and he pushed her down onto it. He produced handcuffs and secured her wrists behind her again, with the professionalism of years of practice.

"Lie down, Agent Jareau. I'll bring you some water." He moved to the doorway and stood filling it. "I suspect we'll see Spencer soon. You should get some rest."

She moved on the small bed, trying to get comfortable, and one more word escaped her lips before she let exhaustion claim her.

"Why?"

Jason half-turned, then left the room, closing the door behind him.

"Because you matter to him." he softly said.

* * *

**Chapter 13: Chapter 13**

* * *

**Nightmares**

_Also Sprach Zarathustra_  woke Reid.

The 2001: A Space Odyssey theme was the ringtone he had assigned to Strauss – a play on her last name being that of the composer himself. His phone seemed miles away and he couldn't see it, only hear it. He felt himself on the ground, and his vision was red. Slowly, as he lay there collecting his thoughts he came to realize he was bleeding... a head wound? He took a mental inventory and didn't seem to be broken anywhere except his head, god his head...

Reid wiped the drying blood from his eyes and tried to sit up too quickly as he remembered – the deer, the crash! Oh god, Derek – where  _was_  he? He sat there surveying the carnage all around him, the smashed car which he obviously had been thrown from, the dead deer bent at an awkward angle on the ground, its back broken. Spencer tried to stand, but the ground spun and came up to meet him as he fell back down. He needed to get over there, to help Morgan. He started crawling on his hands and knees over to the car, not feeling the sharp rocks and shards of broken glass digging into his skin, the asphalt scraping his hands raw. "Morgan!", he tried to call, but it came out a hoarse croak and as he got to the car his fears were founded.

His first instinct was to feel for a pulse, and he laughed inappropriately with relief as he felt one – weak and thready, but it was there! Morgan was covered in blood, his seat belt still holding him inside the upside-down car. Spencer could see Derek's upper arm bone, his humerus, Spencer corrected himself, showing through the deep gash the deer had made with its hooves, and took off his own jacket to fashion a makeshift tourniquet. He looked around again for his phone, and crawled back to the middle of the street for it. He called 911 and held while the GPS locator did its job.

It was starting to get dark, and Spencer didn't want to leave Derek, but the ambulance was coming and if it got too dark he wouldn't be able to find the turn-off, find Jennifer. He wasn't thinking clearly but he knew he'd need more light so he got the flashlight from the glove compartment. It couldn't be more than a mile away, right? Where they'd been headed? Spencer checked his phone again and shakily got to his feet. He had to get moving, he had to get to her. Morgan would understand. He had to go. He had to go.

* * *

JJ snapped awake in total darkness. Her body felt like she'd been run over, every bone aching. She struggled to sit up with her hands still handcuffed behind her, and started looking around the bare room for something she could use as a weapon or a tool. Something to get her out of this predicament. She was past caring why she was here now, she just wanted to get out. To escape and get back to Spencer, to the team.

Just then the door banged open and Jason stood in the doorway, his frame outlined by the light from the next room. As he moved towards her JJ saw he had something in his hand – what... was that a  _syringe?_

"You have to understand, this is necessary", Gideon said as he approached her with the needle. "It's his worst nightmare."

JJ moved away from him as best she could, standing and trying to dodge around him into the next room. It was no use. She couldn't see, she was weak from no food or water, and she was still bound. Jason grabbed her arm and shoved her back down on the bed.

"Gideon!" She shouted. "Listen to me, you cannot do this!"

"I assure you I can, Agent Jareau," he replied quietly. "It's all part of the plan, and now you need to decide something." He moved to sit next to her on the bed and she jerked away as far as she could from him, her eyes never leaving the needle.

"What's in that?" she demanded. "What are you going to do?"

Jason ignored her and continued, "You need to decide if you'll let me do this easy, or will I have to get rough? I'd rather the first choice, but I've no hesitation about the second."

JJ looked into his face. "Gideon... Jason... why is this happening? Did something... we can get you all the help you need, you know that!" Her eyes went back to the syringe, and she suddenly understood. "Is this about Spencer?"

Gideon's eyes flickered for just a moment and he looked at the syringe, filled with Dilaudid. "None of you matter except him. He's got to learn that. He's got to get out." He stood up suddenly, jabbing the needle into JJ's arm. " _He needs to get out before -_  ".

JJ's scream cut him off. She felt the effects of the drug immediately and fell over on the bed gasping and moaning slightly. "No...", she whispered. "No, please... I'm  _pregnant_ , Jason... I can't...", and that was her last coherent thought as she felt the drug slide into her mind in a warm wave of oblivion.

Gideon looked at her crumpled form on the bed and reached a hand forward to brush her hair from her eyes.

"Well, that's just a bonus, then, isn't it?" he said, emotionless.

* * *

Reid saw the black van first. It was parked at the bottom of the hill and the back doors were wide open. He observed the scene remotely in the darkness. Casting the flashlight on the ground, he noticed that there had been some kind of struggle but there was no one around. He shone the light on the slope heading up where it looked like there was a path, and followed it up, his legs shaking. He drew his gun and called loudly "JJ! Jennifer, are you here?  _JJ!_ "

Startled, Spencer saw a man approaching him out of the darkness, hands in the air, a small cabin rising up behind him.

"Stop!", he yelled as he raised his revolver. "Federal Agent! That's far enough!"

The man continued forward and said, "Spencer?"

Reid's eyes snapped up to the man's face. Could this be the guy JJ took the photo of? Same hair color, same scruffy beard, as far as he could tell in the dark.

Spencer's eyes narrowed, trying to see better as well as with suspicion. "What do you know?" He asked the man, gun still leveled at his chest.

"There's someone inside waiting for you." The man said.

"Let's go." Spencer's head was spinning with several scenarios and he was having such a hard time  _thinking_. He gestured with the gun for the man to move towards the small cabin, ignoring the stabbing pain in his head every movement caused. "Hurry up!", he stressed.

The man walked up on the porch and opened the door, the gun still on him, then stepped aside, gesturing for Spencer to go in first. Reid thought that a little weird, but this entire situation was weird. He was dying to go running in to see if JJ was there, to make sure she was alright, but his training took over and he sidled into the small front room, his gun now held up by his still-bleeding ear.

Spencer scanned the room and dropped his defensive stance and nearly his weapon, and he stood staring, open-mouthed, at the one person besides JJ he missed more than anyone in the world. His trusted friend, his mentor, his father-figure.

Jason Gideon moved quickly towards him, smiling and opening his arms in welcome. Spencer was happy and confused and worried about Jennifer and confused again... it was all just happening so fast... and then Gideon tried to slide the gun out of his hand.

"Wait, no, stop...", Spencer said. He moved back a step and just looked at Gideon full-on.

"What are you... what is...?" Spencer shook his head and immediately regretted it, but kept his eye on the other man, who was still smiling, still not saying anything. He thought for a moment that he was hallucinating, but then he remembered what his mother had always told him - she who suffered from delusions herself - that if it casts a shadow, it's probably real.

Gideon stopped smiling and put his hands behind his back. "You look like you've come a long way to find me, Spencer.", he said.

Reid's eyes narrowed as he regarded Gideon. "I wasn't looking for you. I... I - ", he stammered, trying to make sense of it.

Suddenly, he heard a woman's soft moan from the other room and nothing else mattered but getting to the source of that sound. Spencer ran towards the only other room and was met by Jason getting to the door first and slamming it shut, shoving Spencer off balance and against the wall. "NO!" Gideon shouted. "NOT YET!"

He pinned Spencer against the wall with his forearm against the younger man's throat, his face inches from Spencer's own. Reid cried out in frustration and tried to shove back, but he was no match for the stronger man and could only glare as Gideon spat out, "You will NOT go in there until you've heard me out! Do you  _understand_?" Jason shoved his arm harder against Spencer's throat and he started choking.

He grabbed Gideon's arm to lessen the pressure for one brief second and screamed " _NO!_ ", still struggling to get out from his grip. From somewhere deep inside, Spencer gathered the strength to wrest Gideon's arm away from his neck and slipped out from under him. He bent to pick up his weapon that he'd dropped in the struggle, and was met with a kick to the jaw from the first man, who had let him in the cabin. Spencer went down like a stone, unconscious once again.

" _Why did you do that?_ " Jason yelled at the other man who just smiled.

"Looked to me like he needed a nap." replied the other.

"I was handling things just fine, and you'd better not interfere again.  _Is that clear?_ "

The man just stared at Gideon, expressionless, then shrugged in reply, and moved to go outside.

Jason bent over Spencer, flipping him over on his back and examining his wounds. He went to get a clean rag and a bowl of water, leaving Spencer where he'd fallen. He came back and sat on the floor next to him, dipping the rag in the water, and wiped some of the caked blood from the younger man's damaged face and hands. He could tell that he'd been in an accident, and Gideon chuckled softly to himself.

"You must really love her, Spencer.", he mused. "Don't you worry... I'll save you. From all of them."

* * *

**Chapter 14: Chapter 14**

* * *

**Damage**

Spencer came to tied to the same kitchen chair JJ had been hours earlier. He had a massive headache, and the dim morning light was far too bright, searing his eye sockets. He squinted and tried to focus, working his bruised jaw at the same time. That's when he smelled it. That horrible reek. The burning entrails that kept the evil at bay. Only it didn't. The bad was right here.

Gideon sat directly in front of him, and everything came rushing back at once. Spencer struggled to loosen the bindings around his aching wrists and arms. Reid noticed that Gideon had a syringe in his hand, and where was... oh god. JJ... god, Jennifer.

"Where is she, Gideon? Is she in that room?  _Is she_?" Spencer yelled, ignoring the screaming pain in his head. "What are you  _doing_? What- "

Gideon held his hands up,"Spencer, calm down, she's alright... she's alright. I'll answer all your questions if you just calm down now. You have a concussion, you need to quiet down and just listen to me.

Spencer looked at the syringe in Gideon's hand. "What are you doing with that? What are you doing with ANY of this?" Spencer looked around the room. "Why are we here, Gideon, what are you trying - what's your endgame?"

Jason looked at Reid's confused, battered face and took a deep breath. He sat down across from Spencer again, slowly. "I've been watching you, Spencer. Watching your struggle. I've seen what you've been going through since I left. I've seen you come through your addiction, your recovery. I've seen you fall in love, and I like to think I was there for the very beginning of that. I've seen you come back to yourself, Spencer. And now you need to keep moving forward, to keep realizing that there is  _no limit_  to who and what you can become. What you can achieve for the betterment of society is staggering. But you don't see it. And you never will as long as you stay with them."

"What are you talking about? What does this have to do with the murders? Kidnapping JJ, luring me here...? Are you behind the Hankel connection? Only you would think to call the UnSub by that name, knowing what it would do to me. How it would freak me out – GOD, Gideon! I wanted to  _call you in_  on this case! Nobody agreed with me but I just knew you could crack it." Spencer gave a bitter laugh. "Yeah... never knew how close I was to..."

"No," Jason interrupted. Let me talk, Spencer. All your questions will be addressed, I promise you".

"Why should I believe anything you say?  _Look_  at us! We're tied up, trapped... and you sitting there with a needle in your hand. Is that Dilaudid?  _IS IT?_ " Spencer's voice was like a cracking whip. He was desperate, and getting more so by the moment. He needed to get free, to get to JJ.

"This isn't for you, Spencer. Unless you force me to use it, unless you refuse to calm down. This...", and he held up the needle, "...is for her."

Spencer stared, wide-eyed, mouth open, and couldn't believe his ears. "No.", he mouthed, shaking his agonized head, "God, Gideon, not her! Tell me you haven't - ". Spencer's mind was whirling, hot tears burning his eyes now. He had to get through to Gideon, make him  _listen._

Spencer made his voice as calm as he could. "I'll do whatever you want, I will. Just tell me what it is you want me to do... why you took her, what it is you need. Listen to me, listen... I'll go with you, anywhere you say, let her go and I'll - "...

"Bargaining?," Gideon gave a wry smile. "You know that never works. And I don't think you will go with me now... not willingly. Now that she's pregnant. No, I'm going to have to alter the plan. Yes...". He stood up and paced slowly in front of his bound protege, absently thinking and murmuring to himself, passing the syringe from one hand to the other.

Spencer stopped trying to work his bonds loose, and felt like a hot machete had been stabbed into his stomach and a heavy brick had crashed into his head all at once. " _PREGNANT?_ " It took every single bit of his resolve and training to sit perfectly still, yet every muscle was tensed, every nerve ending ablaze. He schooled his face into a blank mask of unconcern and calm, doing his best to pretend he knew. He couldn't give this to Gideon, let him know he'd shocked him into submission. Because Spencer knew, at his very core, that he would do anything this man said if it meant keeping Jennifer safe. Jennifer and now the baby...  _their baby_.

Reid cleared his dry, scratchy throat to get Gideon's attention. "Uh... have you used it on her yet?" Spencer said, indicating the syringe with a nod of his head.

Gideon nodded. "A couple of times, just to keep her quiet. She fights me. You'd think if she really loved you she'd see what I'm trying to do for you. What I've got to do..." He replied.

Spencer's heart sank. God please don't let her be hurt, be addicted. "And what is that, exactly, Gideon? Tell me so I can understand." He was thankful that he was able to keep his voice even, keep the tremor out of it. Gideon would've surely noticed, excellent profiler that he was, or... used to be.

Excited to be able to tell the younger man his plans for him at last, Gideon sat before him on the floor. Surely he'd go along once he understood how very necessary the plan was, how very right.

"I have a place, Spencer. I've been having it built since I left. It's a place for research, for discovering your real and true potential as the brilliant human being you are... and you'll be... protected. You'll never have to deal with the darkness any more, you'll never have to leave. The murders, the brutality, the violence and the horrors that men visit upon each other every day, every hour will soon be scrubbed from your flawless mind, and you'll be free to develop means and ways, proving theory and courses of study that psychological scholars will laud for all time. You'll be legendary, even revolutionary... and you'll be free. Free from these struggling ants that pull you down with their mundanity, with their slogging around in the viscous guts of dead bodies, rotting corpses, and mutilated victims. No more will you be compelled to seek approval and acceptance from those limited minds, wallowing in stinking human excreta every day of their ordinary, sickening lives... god, son, you're so far above them, it's unfathomable. I've cried over it, Spencer. Over your predicament. And the only thing to do, the only thing, was this. There is no other choice, if you are to survive."

Spencer let him finish, then looked in his eyes and said "Yes, you are so right. I don't know why I didn't see it for myself."

Gideon's joy at Reid's response was palpable. His shoulders dropped, and he exhaled and looked down at the floor with relief.

"... See for myself how truly insane you've become.", Spencer finished.

Seizing his moment, he grunted and brought his foot up from the floor with all his might, catching Gideon under the chin and lifting him up and flinging him onto his back on the coarse wooden floor. His hands finally free from the ropes, he rolled out of the chair, snatching up the fallen syringe of Dilaudid and stabbing it into Gideon's neck before the shocked, stronger man had time to react, releasing the entire dosage into his bloodstream.

Spencer didn't even look back as he jumped up from the floor and ran to the next room, banging the door open and seeing her...his goddess, still unconscious with her hands cuffed behind her. Her back was to the door and he ran around to the other side of the bed and bent down, out of breath and worried out of his mind for her, he knelt and stroked her face, willing her to wake up. He kissed her forehead and began murmuring her name over and over as his hand stroked her hair softly, gently. Spencer remembered her words then, the words she'd spoken to him that awful day in the hospital, the words that had penetrated his fog and had woken him up to the beautiful mess that had been her, that day. He put his lips to her ear and said, "Baby, please, wake up. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here for you,  _please_ … ".

Spencer's breath caught and his heart leapt as he saw her beautiful blue eyes flutter open once, twice... then he sagged with relief as he saw her focus on him, her vivid eyes catching his, and her small smile bringing fresh tears to his own ravaged eyes.

"About time.", she whispered.

A shadow cast over the two of them and Spencer's head snapped up. There was Gideon holding on to the doorjamb with one hand, Spencer's gun in the other. He was leaning heavily against the door, fighting the effects of the drug, and he was angry.

"You tricked me, Spencer", he growled. You didn't see, you didn't. And that's too bad... because now she has to die."

He raised the gun and pointed it directly at JJ's back and Spencer screamed "NO!", as he rose up over her and stretched his arm out to stop the bullet with his bare hand if need be, making himself the target instead of Jennifer.

Two shots rang out, and Spencer collapsed on top of JJ, pinning her and scanning her, panicky, looking for bullet holes, when Gideon fell. Forward, like a tree trunk, face-first onto the floor. Spencer gazed at his back, feeling detached, like he was underwater, everything slow, and seeing two red holes growing larger with every moment. He lifted his head to the doorway...

...and there stood Hotch and Emily, guns drawn, the barrels still smoking.

* * *

**Chapter 15: Chapter 15**

* * *

**Letting Go... and Holding Fast**

Spencer leaned against Hotch while they lifted JJ into the ambulance, grateful for his Unit Chief's support. Now that the worst was over, he was shaking and exhausted. Prentiss reached out and rubbed his arm.

"He was going to kill her. Right there. He'd lost it. I – I haven't processed it all, but I can't tell you how wrong it felt to have Gideon back and have it not be Gideon... you were so right about his state of mind, Hotch.

"Reid, it's ok, you don't have to talk about it right now. Save it for the debriefing, you know Morgan is going to want to hear everything," Hotch said. "You need to get your strength back first."

"I've just never been more glad to see you guys." He looked down.

"Your phone was intermittent, so Garcia could only track you to the accident site. We searched all night," Hotch said. "There was no way we were giving up."

"I never doubted it, Hotch." Spencer met his eyes and Aaron saw how grateful he was. "How  _is_ Morgan?"

Prentiss answered "His arm is gonna be out of commission for a while, which pisses him off like you can imagine, and his chest needed stitches, which he loved. That deer really did a number on him, but he'll be alright. He got help as quick as he did because you had the presence of mind to call 911. He could've bled to death. Oh, Reid, they're ready to take her," she gestured towards the EMT.

"More at the hospital," Spencer said. "Meet you guys there."

Spencer deferred medical treatment for himself so he could ride with JJ. He also refused to let go of her hand, making a nuisance for the paramedics who did their best to work around the injured young man, who was seemingly unaware that he was even more banged up than she was.

JJ was still fuzzy-headed and mostly out of it, but she knew where she was and with whom. Her eyes never left his face, and she smiled softly as she watched Spencer give orders for her IV and told them what she'd been exposed to. He listened to her vitals as they reported them and was relieved at what he heard.

He looked right in JJ's eyes and her heart skipped a beat when he told them "...And she's pregnant, too. A couple months?"She nodded slowly in confirmation. Spencer bent to touch his lips to hers and a tear rolled down her cheek. He caught it with his thumb and gently wiped it away. "Shhh, he whispered. It's going to be perfect, she'll be perfect, just like her strong, beautiful mother. I thought maybe someday but... this is amazing and beyond wonderful, just like you." He closed his eyes as she reached up and touched his sore face, gently stroking his two days of scruff.

"Not how I wanted to tell you," she whispered.

"Doesn't matter. I love you," he whispered back, as sleep overcame her once again.

Spencer kissed her forehead and leaned back, leaving her to the EMT's ministrations. He sat down hard on the floor of the ambulance and put his aching head in his shaking, torn hands and let the tears come. He let them come for Jennifer, for Gideon, and for sheer relief. For Morgan's pain and for his future child, for the experience of it all and for the team's support and love. For his life, and for his grief, and for the lucky, lucky man he knew himself to be.

* * *

Spencer was patched up at the hospital, as much as he allowed them to do anyway. Wounds were disinfected, stitched, and bound, sans any pain meds, of course. He was impatient with their ministrations and only cared about getting back to JJ. He would have headaches for a while, but promised to seek help if they got worse.

Jennifer required further attention, once the drug was out of her system she demanded every test known that could determine if her baby had been affected. Chromosomal damage was negative, and in sampling the amniotic fluid, her doctor had determined that the drug had dissipated with no permanent effect on the fetus. She herself hadn't been addicted, much to everyone's loud and celebratory relief, and she was officially incubating a healthy, hearty, baby  _girl_. Spencer had been right. Another Jareau goddess was on the way.

Spencer unlocked the door to their house and dropped their go-bags in the foyer. He picked up JJ and spun her around and she laughed at his impulsiveness, glad to see him so happy.

"Put me down, Dr. Reid!" she laughed, and she looked at his lips as he curled them into a smile, sliding her down the length of him, her feet finally touching the floor. She marveled that he could be so happy and joyous considering what had just happened to them. She loved that about him, and she told him so.

"I choose it, JJ. What's our alternative? To wallow and freak out because we were beaten up, deceived, kidnapped and almost killed? Been there, done that. I  _need_ to appreciate this and what we have, what we  _will_ have, what is good and meaningful and... god I sound like Garcia."

She laughed, and kissed him, and he flinched and said "Ow!" as she brushed her lips against his bruised chin. "Oh, big baby. Hey, in case I haven't told you? I like this..." she said as she stroked his new beard growth. She'd never seen this look on him before and it was soft and, she thought, sexy.

"Hotch will make me shave it as soon as my bruises heal," he shrugged.

"Well then I guess I should enjoy it now," JJ touched his face again, this time making eye contact and biting her bottom lip.

"Oh! Subtle, Agent Jareau," Spencer said, his eyes dancing.

"I have to be subtle, now?" JJ smirked.

He lifted her up again and she wrapped her legs around him like she always did. He started carrying her through the living room intent on their bedroom, when a flash of red caught his eye.

"THE CHAIR!" Spencer dropped her as his arms flew wide and she barely caught herself, landing on the balls of her feet instead of her butt. She grinned at his reaction, clasping her hands in front of her.

Spencer sprinted over and ran his hands over the polished, ornate frame, pushing on the seat cushion before sitting in it and bouncing slightly, his face lit up like a little boy's.

JJ stood, arms crossed, feigning disapproval. "Oh, you are  _so_ Vincent Price." she deadpanned.

Spencer grinned up at her, his amazing, megawatt smile and said, "But you said... you said no, that it was ugly and bedbuggy and..."

"We needed an  _accent piece_ , Spence. Born in a barn, were you?" JJ said as she turned and walked down the hallway, hips swaying, lifting her blouse over her head as she went, golden hair swinging.

Spencer watched her go, then looked down for just a moment to admire the ornate woodwork and dense velvet fabric. "Accent piece"... his own words. God he loved her.

He stood up and followed her down the hallway, picking up her shirt as he went. He lifted it to his face and breathed in her perfume. Home. It felt so good to be home.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Jason Gideon survived. Aaron and Emily hadn't shot to kill, but both bullets pierced his spine and he would never walk again. No chance of any threat to Spencer or his family, they made sure. They'd captured the UnSub, the man who had actually been committing the murders (even though Gideon was the planner) right when they'd arrived at the cabin. The only name the man would give was Tobias Hankel, an affectation, no doubt, of Gideon's. DNA and fingerprints found the man to be an unremarkable thug, slow-witted and criminally minded with a record of petty crime. The perfect flunky.

Aaron had the facility that Jason had meant to keep Reid in dismantled and torn down. It had been impressive, Gideon didn't do things halfway, but it was still a prison. As soon as Gideon healed enough from the gunshots, he was committed to a high-security convalescent hospital for the criminally insane. Aaron kept track of his progress, of which, as of this writing, there had been none.

JJ gave birth to her and Spencer's daughter, Angela Diana Jareau-Reid, (whom her father refuses to call any name but 'Angel'), without incident. A remarkably bright and exceptional child, she's the delight of the BAU, and her parents' lives. She began reading Fitzgerald at two (thanks to her grandmother and namesake), paints reproductions from her favorite artist, Picasso, and has informed her parents that she wishes to take up the violin, and be Spider-Man when she grows up.

Her father approves.


End file.
